All I Want Is Everything

Love That Never Ends

2011-07-16T00:11:00.005+08:00

Dear Saifulnizam,

You are the most beautiful thing that has happened to me. I am thankful and glad that I got to know you and I'm lucky to be yours. I will never give up on you. I promise not to hurt you like I did before. I will love you forever and always, baby. I know that we had our rough times. I'm very sorry if I made it hard for you. I'm sorry that I continue to live in my own world of fairy tales and have been keeping you in the shadows. I made a big mistake by doing that. Now I know that my fairy tale doesn't have to be only mine. I can share it with you because you are my fairy tale. You have faith in me even when I don't have it for myself. You believed in me when I doubted myself.

You saved me from myself not too long ago. You got me out of that darkness like a bright star. I know you don't feel like I appreciate you. I do. So very much. Every single thing that I do each day reminds me of you. I know that nobody's perfect. We did so many wrong things to hurt each other. I want to protect you from any possible pain because only God knows how much pain you have already had through your life. I know that you're the one who's supposed to say that, but we have always been reversed, aren't we? One way or another, I think that is what keeping us together all this time.

I have never regretted anything. I never want to change the love that we have, except for it to keep going stronger. I hope you could trust me like you used to. I am yours. I would even fight with fate if it decides to separate us from each other. You asked me once "How long do you think we last?" I didn't answer you then, but I'm answering you now - Forever. We'll last forever.

No matter how many times we fight, I will always want you. Living life without you just feels so empty. Don't ever leave me. Love me like you always do. Don't give up on me.

I love you baby. No other words can describe what I feel. I can't tell you why. I just do.

Ups and Downs

2011-07-14T00:31:00.006+08:00

Okay. i know i broke my promise about updating once a week. SORRY! i really don't have that much free time and when DO have free time, i'm so damn tired that my mind just blanked out after i clicked the 'New Post' button. Shockingly, now i have some inspiration kicked in just enough to boost up my mood to blog. Well, what am i going to write today you might ask? i don't really know exactly, but i'm just going to babble everything that happened today. So, what are you waiting for Anin? Start typing!

I have to admit that the subjects i have to take this semester is very challenging. i have doubts about maintaining my CGPA this semester. mom would be crushed. what ca i do? i turned dumb when it comes to numbers. i had to take Food & Beverage Costing and Basic Accounting. DO NOT be fooled by the word BASIC! i suck at counting. The fact that i could count to hundred is a miracle. Okay, i know i'm exaggerating but i just have this struggle when it comes to numbers. i took a quiz today and cried after that. i just felt like shooting my head open. BANG BANG! it's just so stressful when you studied for it like it's the end of the world and when it's in front of you, you just went "WTF is this?". Even after tutoring sessions i still suck.. after that quiz i just felt like curling into a dark corner.

that feeling vanished when Blaze came and picked me up to watch the new Transformer movie. it was so frickin' awesome! i could feel my eyes buldging out of their sockets in the theater. Oh.... nothing too embarrassing happened, just that i spilled half of the popcorn on him. how could i be such a clutz ??!!! thank God there's not many people in the theater. we drove back to Dungun and he bought me McDonalds. Yay McD!

Tomorrow i'll be going home for Mid-term break. Can't wait to be home. i miss Mom and Dad. i miss my cats. i miss my room. Since we moved, i've never stayed home for more that two months. Even so, i'm attached to the new place that i call home, because home is where your loved ones are. is it not? i'll be taking a one hour flight from Kerteh to Subang Airport tomorrow with my classmate. pray for our safe depart and landing!

As excited as i am to be home, me and my fellow classmates will have to go through one more practical class before our break. i'm not saying i'm looking forward to it, but the class is fun. that's enough motivation for me to keep attending. And since i keep yawning for the past 3 minutes, i think it's time for me to hit the sack. I'll add another post when i'm in Shah Alam. For now, it's time to snuggle with Cupipi in bed :)

Happy Reading!

Dreaming of a hero.

2011-06-24T23:12:00.006+08:00

Okay. i know this sounds so ridiculous, but i do. i guess this is the effect of reading to many novels. the character are not perfect, but the writer describe them so perfectly that i can't help but fall in love. sometimes i wish the characters from my favorite books will come to life. most of the time i wished that i was just a character in a book where she thinks her life is crappy, but in reality it is full of adventure. she gets the dream guy who is madly in love with her and the only think she has to worry about is why the book has to end. if only life was that simple.

every time i read a book i practically live and breathe the book. i can see what the characters see and feel what they feel. i'm happiest when i'm totally immersed in a book. it's like i'm free from my crappy life and jump into a world that is not mine but i am there - exactly in the middle of it. after finishing a book that grabbed my attention from page one is just so frustrating...! i want the story to go on forever so i can live along with it. that's why i keep re-reading my favorite books. i want the characters to be alive in me. when i read a book in a battle i could picture the sound, swords screeching against each other, the shouts of men fighting for their lives. when the characters have a conflict, i can feel their hurt, their pain. reading a book is like having a personal movie in my mind where i got to choose who plays the part of the main characters or the supporting actors.

reading about how the hero always saves the damsel in distress, literally makes me distressed. who wouldn't want a hot guy head-over-heels for you and fights all the bad guys and kick their asses for you? i found my prince charming once. but he turned out to be a toad. it really sucked back then. i really thought i found "the one". i guess Mr. Perfect isn't going to show up anytime soon. until then, i'll just stick to my books where Mr. Perfect is always there even though he's not mine. OBVIOUSLY.

Tall, dark and handsome. Prince Charming. Knight In Shining Armour. why do people keep saying that when less to none of them found any. there are a lot of tall, dark and handsome guys, but the ones in my life are either a character in a book or are out of reach. there is nothing wrong with the guys here, but i have this fantasy about a guy from a faraway place would sweep me off my feet and we will live happily ever after. i should have realized by now that there are no happily-ever-afters, but i just can't stop hoping. maybe he is on his way to me right now. all i can say is everything is in the hands of God. if He decides my Prince Charming will have to fight battles on his way to me, then i'll wait until he arrives at my doorstep. i'll keep my eyes on the horizon and hope that he arrives safely into my arms.

Nur Kasih Movie Break

2011-05-20T17:56:00.002+08:00

Watched Nur Kasih at Sunway Pyramid.. The ticket line was like a MILE long and guess what mummy dearest did,, she bribed a couple to buy the tix.. WTF?? O_O

no lah..!

she asked them to buy the tix and decided to pay for theirs too since they seem so nice.. *suckers* XDD we got in just in time before the movie starts.. the movie was good and coming from me,, that says something.. the whole theater was bawling as soon as the movie starts! it wasn't even 15 minutes and everyone already started to cry.. i felt like crying too but crying with all of these people in public just wasn't cool.. XDD my mom was like a waterfall though.. LOL... her eyes were puffy when we got out.. XDD if you guys haven't seen the movie yet,, i suggest that you grab a ticket at the nearest movie theater.. ^^

DON'T FORGET TO BRING A BOX OF TISSUE!

Previously on my second semester..

2011-05-14T13:27:00.004+08:00

Ohmigosh! it's been ages since i added another blogpost! So sorry bloggy.. the internet connection on campus is crappy. i can't even open up my homepage~ =='' well,, let's see.......... there were definitely a lot has been going on during my last semester. The classes were normal enough. i still miss SOULS. AND,, i got my heart broken by some dooshbag~ ==''

As i said,, the classes were just so-so.. the most interesting class this sem is French! Oooh-La-La... XD last sem i bare understood a lick of that language, but now i seem to like it and all the credits goes to the person teaches the subject *claps*. She made learning French fun.. hahas. i was eager enough to go to her class even after Practical class which was fun and hell altogether. XD

The friends here are okay. i adore my classmates, but it's nothing compared to how a feel about SOULS. during study week,, i got the chance of meeting some SOULS members. i was so damn happy! but some of them were unable to attend and some just decided not to show up. which upsets me like hell. SOULS will always be in my heart even if they treat me like crap. speaking of treating people like crap,, i've been doing that all semester to a couple of my friends on campus and i feel like such a bitch. i didn't mean to be that way. it's just my temper gets harder an harder to control these days. i don't know if it's PMS or the fact that i'm really just a bitch,, but i can't help being sorry towards them. they deserve better than that. hurm.. gotta work on that next semester.. Sorry babes :(

the most stupid thing happened. i fell for some dumbass. he lead me on and kept me hanging. he swallowed me up and spit me back. ugh.. i would love the give a crack in his balls ==' i was so fucking stupid to fall for that A-hole. he was so not worth it. he's just a frickin' baby who couldn't even have the balls to stand up to me and tell me that he wasn't interested. well,, FUCK YOU. i can't believe that by the likes of him, he is capable of something like that. i thought about what happened and concluded that he's one of those pretty faces with a brain size of a bird. he's not worth it and he's not worth for me. so,, bye-bye bird brain!

i think that's enough bashing for today. XD i'm gonna continue my Merlin journey.. can't believe there's going to be a season 4! *screaming hysterically* James Bradley is so fine! yummy.. XDD well,, better go then..

DING DING! TIME'S UP Y'ALL!

DYB309; 2109; 28th September.

2010-09-29T10:32:00.003+08:00

DYB309; 2109; 28th September.

Last night was bitter sweet. I spent the night laughing, talking an eating with Blaze at a fiesta held by the university. Even though the field was crowded with people, i feel at ease just by standing and sitting close to him. My nerves kicked up when i saw Chance right there in front of me. I don’t know why i am so nervouse because he didn’t even know who the hell Chance is. I managed to walk a couple of steps forward from him and walked pass Chance and gave him a smile. He returned it and that was more than i could have asked for. I returned to Blaze with a sheepish smile. He looked strangely at me and that pulled me back down to earth. I can’t be doing this when he’s around. Not when he’s right there in front of me. I shouldn’t be doing this at all. But there is a weird string that keeps tugging me towards Chance. Even if i want to get away, that string would pull me back to him. Last night was no exception. I kept trying to unfocus my thoughts about him and the next thing i found is that i was searching for him through the crowds. Talk about pathetic. After a while, the crowds’ buzzing made me forgot about him and i paid full attention to Blaze. Max was there too. It’s been a while since i saw him. Even though he kept limping and complained that his leg hurts, he tagged along just fine. The surgery from his last accident hadn’t actually recovered yet, but being him, he couldn’t care less as long as he could be out and about. That is so Max. Since i’ve known him –which is from high school- his good looks and charms never seems to change. No wonder i fell for him back then. But he is nothing compared to Blaze. I admit that Blaze is far from Max’s gook looks and charms, but i love him that way. No matter what people say, he’s mine and will always be. No questions asked.

When it’s time to go home, Blaze wanted to send me back to my hostel. He said that he didn’t want to walk alone in the dark and it’s a long way back. Without a second thought i said yes. When he dropped me off, the guard called out and asked us if were sibling because is it against the rules for a guy to be at the girls’ dorm. Plus, it’s 11:00 PM and things began to get ugly. After handing my matrice card and him, his license and ID, that’s it. We’re BUSTED. The guard told me to go the Security Booth and i practically dragged my feet and shaking like a leaf. My heart was beating like i just ran a marathon. I stepped into the office and the head security guard told me to sit. Believe me, there no kindness at all in his voice. I sat uncomfortably on the plastic chair. Imagining what will they do to us. The thought of getting suspended of getting kicked out of the hostel didn’t help in calming my nerves. So i just wait. Not long after that Blaze walked in with Max just behind him. After an excrutiating 10 minutes. The guard let us go. He told me that if it wasn’t for my mom, he would never let me get off this easy. That he’ll make me write a statement and that statement would be sent to my mom. You see, my mom was a staff here, so it’s obvious that other staffs would know her when i say her name. Which made it a lot worse for me. Lets face it, i’m like a felon in CSI or something. After being interrogated like that, i really did felt like it and now my every move is watched. I hate it. I feel like a dog on leash again. Just like high school.

I walked back to my hostel with tears streaking down my face. I didn’t even look back when someone called for me on the way. I kinda felt guilty for that. Whoever that person is, i’m sorry. I finally lost it when i climbed up the stairs. I can’t even see the steps but i managed to find my way up to my room. stepping inside my room, i could hear one of my roomate gasp when she saw my face wet with tears. I sat on my bed, burying my face in my hands and cried uncontrollably. She pat my back and asked me what’s wrong. My other roomate said to leave me alone and let me cry first. She said i’ll spill everything to them after i finished crying. That was it though, their concern for me goes only by that far. After i finished crying, they didn’t even bother asking me about anything. Let alone talking to me. It was fine actually. Since they never really got to my good side. I called Blaze and cried on the phone talking to him. He said that it’ll all be okay and that i have to be strong. He said that we’ve been so many things and it would be useless if we give up now. he told me that he loves me no matter what happens and will stay by my side no matter what the consequence of what was happening earlier. My biggest fear –and the main reason why i’m bawling my eyes out- is having to tell my mom about it, or someone else will tell her. He told me so many things; how we were at school, the things that we’ve been through there, the things that we’ve done for us to be together. It brought back memories. The good as well as the bad ones, but i don’t regret any of it. I’m just glad that i’m with him right now. after talking to him, i felt so much better. I stopped crying not long after that. My body felt sticky with sweat so i decided to take a bath. Refreshed, i slipped into the covers and drifted into a deep sleep.

The alarm clock this morning woke me up. I looked at the time; 7:00 AM and yet my eyes felt like they were glued together. I got up and start my day like any other Tuesday for class; i took a bath, put on my kitchen uniform, stuffed small kitchen cloths and my knife set into a bag and some containers to put the food that i’ll cook for the day. My eyes were drooping even i was walking through the corridor. Then i abruptly stopped midway and turned back to my room. i cursed inwardly for having to turn back and took the scarf for the uniform that was hung on my bedpost. Closing the door as gently as i can, i skidded to the stairs and walked sluggishly to class. I arrived just in time before the lecturer came. I sat in the front row. Chance was just one person apart from me, i felt like crap so i couldn’t care less. I just stared at the slides in front and took notes on the topic for the day; Poultry and Game Birds. I waited in front of the kitchen lab as soon as the theory class ended. Still feeling down, i went into the washroom and splashed my face with water from the sink. The cold water woke me up, but didn’t make me feel better. i stepped out and went straight into the lab. Some of my classmates asked if i was okay or not. I just smiled – i think i was – and did my tasks. After a series of wooden-spoon-banging-on-the-exshaust-fan and scolding from the Chef, the class finally ended and i walked to the hostel by myself. On the way, i called my mom – a friend of mine advised me to call her because it would be better if she knew what happened last night from me- and told her everything. Suprisingly, she wasn’t even mad. She just let out a nervous laugh and told me to be careful next time. I was so glad that she wasn’t mad, at all. I felt like a weight have just been lifted up my shoulders. I smiled all the way back to my room. i told Blaze about it, and he was relieved too. It felt so great that my mom wasn’t hysterical about it. She didn’t even flipped out and the best thing was, i think that she finally accepted Blaze. The realization just made my day.

I have to say that Tuesdays are the most gruelling days. I got to another class at 4 and my feet felt like they were going to fall off. Today’s class wasn’t so bad. We played charades and my group sucked at it. The class went beserk guessing what song were they supposed to guess. The noob that i am, i slipped out by miming the word “straight” while i’m doing my part and they guessed the song title right away; Straight Through My Heart. Chance was at the back of the room and was sitting – straight - the opposite from me. He was looking right at me. I hope he didn’t get any ideas about me an the song that i just charaded –if that was even a word. Embarassed, I sat down quickly on my seat. I could feel the blood in my cheeks and my stupid heart going thump-thump-thump. Each faster than the thump before.

I got our class picture last night and and i scanned for a face and that face only; Chance. Even though he’s standing a little bit far off to the side, he still stood out. Like a Greek God. I kept staring at him in the picture. Finally i snapped out of my day dream when my friend called me. My heartbeat went wild after that and i had a hard time concentrating on the lecture. I kept thinking that night and i was determined to let him go. Blaze’s call tonight made me more determined than ever. I don’t want him to feel like i’m cheating on him. I don’t want to let him down. i told him about Chance and i think that caught him a little bit off guard. I can hear the frustration in his voice. I can hear that his trust in my is slightly tainted. With that, i’ll try as hard as i can to forget Chance. For his sake and mine, i’ll forget every single feeling –if there ever was- towards Chance and devote myself fully to Blaze. In the past year, 3 months, 29 days, 1 hour and 15 minutes, there has only been one person who can make me feel the way i’m feeling now, and that is Blaze. I would never want for that to go away. I don’t ever want to loose the things that we have now. i don’t ever want to loose him. Now i messed things by bringing up Chance. I’m hurting him. I know i am. I just hope that nothing will change between us even there’s Chance in the picture. I’ll make sure that this picture will change. Next time it’ll be only me and Blaze. With no one in between.

BEL120; 1322; 25th September.

2010-09-29T10:27:00.000+08:00

Looking at the candy wrapper in my pencil box made me think

What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

It made me feel so pathetic after recalling the reason why I have so many candies there. After he said that he’ll ask me for candies if I had them, I started stuffing candies even in my bag. I’m so frickin’ STUPID. The guy wouldn’t even look at me straight in the eye. Let lone talk to me again. But why can’t I seem to shuck him out of my damn mind? Every time he passes me of I see him or hear his voice or even someone calling out his name, I feel this tingling sensation inside me and I let out my breath with a sigh when I realized that I forgot to breathe. I know that he doesn’t feel the same way and won’t feel the same way. I feel like Clary in Mortal Instruments. This is highly classified as a forbidden love, but like Clary, I just can’t seem to stay away. I know I’m going to get hurt. As long as I can see him and his smile, it’s all good. I don’t have to worry. And I’m happy as long as I can see him even once in class even though we have class together for the whole day. Three years. We’re going to be in the same class for three whole years. I hope I can get rid of this…. thing I have for him, because if I keep feeling like this I know it is going to destroy me. I want to say goodbye so badly, but it is just stuck in my throat. I hate myself for feeling this way. I resent myself for even falling for him in the first place. I know this isn’t right.

BFR202; 0806; 20th September

2010-09-22T10:38:00.001+08:00

Nothing seemed better. Of course. I’m smiling. I looked like i’m okay, but that’s just it. I just looked like it. No one really knows how i feel, because i’m alone. The lecturer just announced the dates for tests on the following month. How am i going to do this? How am i going to pass this subject? How am i going to pass this semester? I wish someone would just hold my hand and tell me it’s going to be okay. Holding me in their embrace while stroking my hair and say that they’ll be there for me even if i messed up. I kept imagining it over and over again in my head. Make sure that it’s on replay so that i won’t breakdown in front of everybody. Kept telling myself to smile as happily as i can so no one would notice that something’s wrong.

Because everything pretty much is.

I wonder what would it feels like to cut youself? Does it hurt? If it does, is it a lot? What would be the perfect razor as my partner in crime? How am i going to cut? What do i do when i bleed too much? Would i get infected? When will i do it? Where? Then i thought about what would people think if they saw those ugly scars on my arm. Would they run away from me? Would they call me names? Would they call me a freak?

FREAK!

That word just keep banging in my head.

Freak..

Freak

FREAK!

I DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE.

Right at that time a razor’s blade seems tempting. But i shoved it away knowing that i couldn’t risk losing the ones i love. When i try to express myself people starts judging me. As if they are so much better than i am. The sparks of my life is estinguishing. It gets dimmer, dimmer and dimmer and dimmer each day.

So i just sat in my corner.

Waiting.

For darkness to take over.

MGT 162; 2250; 19th September.

2010-09-22T10:32:00.002+08:00

I’m beginning to think –feel- that’s something different about me. I mean, if you just look at me –very closely- you’d see the difference. I don’t know what’s wrong. I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. The lecturer just hand in our test results. She called out names, one by one. When my name was called and i saw my marks, the first thing that i said in my mind was

CRAP!

Everytime i see someone got a high score, i know that was something that i didn’t want to see right now. i was happy for them. I really did, but that just showed how messed up i am. I really need a morale boost right now. i want to get out of here. I should’ve just stayed in my room and watch some more movies.

Can’t pay any attention to what the lecturer’s saying. I’m just itching to get out of here. To my room. All by myself. In solitude. Why can’t i live in a different world? Why can’t i be Luce in Fallen? Or Bella in Twilight? Or Nora in Hush Hush? My life is dull. A complete torture. My soul, it’s just, empty. I feel empty.

UGH! Why do i have to think about him right now?? as if things are not bad enough..

I don’t know if he’s looking or he noticed, but i hoped that he would. I wish he had known what i felt. Have the courage to stand up in front of me and say “Hey! I kinda like you and I wanna get to know you. Do you?” If all the things that’s possible, i know that that’s one thing isn’t. Sometimes i wonder if this thing i have for him is real. I don’t love him. Sure, that much i know but what does he mean to me? He is my hope i guess. My last hope for him to be the one that i want. The prince charming of my fairytale. Like Bella’s Edward. Like Luce’s Daniel. Like Nora’s Patch. Hope. That’s one thing that i seem to have a lot but lost it all in an instance. Most of my life i wished that i would just be a character in a novel. When she would get the perfect guy. To be loved and cherished. And of course, a happy ending. I know now that my ending won’t be the one that i dreamed of. I want to cry so bad. Cry until the tears are all dried up.

Cutting myself seems like a promising thought. I tried to do it, but i just can’t put that single blade on my arm and sink it through my flesh. I know if i did it, i’ll hurt the ones i love. So i just wait. Waiting for something that could make me better. Because i’m too messed up. I am broken.

Re-cap!!!

2010-08-05T22:42:00.007+08:00

wah~ so long since my last post merh~
internet in UiTM is fucking crappy lor..
can't even surf for assignment..
in the end have to go to CC..
aiyaks~

i'm home today,,
so internet connection is kinda ok..
taking the opportunity to make a post..
cuz dunno when i'm gonna post in bloggy again..

got to knew my classmates better..
most of them are okay..
classes are packed..
so i'm friggin' tired everyday.. 

Life in uni is cool.. XDD
i became more independent about things.
can't say i'm more mature though..
just independent^^
i like the new me.. LMAO..
WTH am i talking about here.. ROFLMAO!

CRAP! can't upload pics..
internet slow like shit.
haih..
okokok~
imma keep typing then..

this month will be buzy..
there're bunch of tests and quizzes..
took a Food Hygiene quiz today..
dunno how much i'll score..
just have to see next week..
and then Ramadhan is coming soon..
aiks.. dunno la~
will be tired like crazy la..
good thing Dad already bought me a bike..
ngeee~
so imma ride mah bike to class everyday then..
kekekekeke~

Dunno what to type anymore lor..
so many things to tell but blanked..
too tired i guess..
gonna hit the sack..
will update as soon as i can..


DING DING! time's up! 

Life in UiTM : Happy or Shitty?

2010-07-08T11:02:00.002+08:00

Happy or Shitty?

have to say both merh..
orientation was a friggin torture..
really felt like wanna die seh~
first week of complete SHIT!
most of the OC (orientation coordinator) are like b******
ugh... of course they are seniors but c'mon lah..
dun have to treat us like crap la...

and there's DCA~
so far so good la..
lecturers are okay..
but one just scared the crap out of me..
wakakaka..
dunno why merh..
just comment ca, comment ci... LMAO~
means so,so la...
have to learn French..
so sien have memorize every word..
but s'okay loh..
language is kinda of mah thing..
keke~
kitchen class i think was kinda fun??
lol... dunno how to describe..
first week lecture was still okay..
next week dunno la..
but for sure will be busy like hell..
aiyaks~

and the there's SOULS~
god i miss them so much!!!
 dunno when we'll be re-united again..
Syah went all the way to Damansara..
my jagi went all the way to Kedah..
Shaharin, Mayrah, and Mahli went to Penang..
Shedo went to KTB.. she's the nearest loh..
still can see her from time to time..
that's good la..
and then miMi, Cdah, YB along with mahself are still stuck in this pithole called Dungun~
no matter,, no worries arhx~
ermx~
who else,,, who else...
Zizie and Haqi will be form 6 studs..XD
Mc Ani is already in form 6...
Lami, Faris and Petok will be entering TaTi...
Aizat on the other hand went to Matrix in Gambang..
Ma'am went MIA~ ==''

haih... GTG la~ got class dy..
 *sigh*
btw,, mah jagi will be coming home for a week!
he'll be home tmr!
manse!! keke XDD
be tuned for mah next post...
Buahaha~
Annyeong!

Song Cover^^

2010-05-17T18:37:00.001+08:00

D'masiv
Cinta Ini Membunuhku

Kau membuat, ku berantakan.
Kau membuat, ku tak karuan.
Kau membuat, ku tak berdaya.
Kau menolak ku, acuhkan diri ku.

Bagaimana, caranya untuk,
meruntuhkan, kerasnya hati mu.
Ku sadari, ku tak sempurna,
ku tak seperti, yang kau inginkan.

Chorus:
Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikap mu,
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakiti ku.
Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu,
cinta ini, membunuh ku.

Bagaimana, caranya untuk,
meruntuhkan, kerasnya hati mu.
Ku sadari, ku tak sempurna,
ku tak seperti, yang kau inginkan.

Chorus 2x

Woo.. Huu.. Haa..
Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu,
cinta ini, membunuh ku.

3 stitches... is a lot of pain~

2010-05-11T16:21:00.004+08:00

I got something on my foot..
it hurts like hell when i stepped on it..
or i stumbled on something..
so yesterday went to Klinik Dungun..
went to see the doc..
he said it was like a wart???
LOLs~
i don't even know if that's what it is..
but what i know is that it REALLY had to go..
so the doc made a minor surgery on my foot..
to get the thing rid off...


OMFG!!!!
the pain~!!!!
i screamed a bit during the surgery..
i mean,,
that's reasonable right??
the doc shot the anesthetic 3 times..
but i felt everything what was going on..
the cutting, slicing and blood dabbing..
it was horrible~ ==''
and i was alone..
scared shit..


so~ in the end...
got 3 stitches..
man~ that's gonna scar..
when the anesthetic wore off..
i felt like my foot was going to fall off..
it burned!!
after i ate the pain killer,,
the pain subsided.,
but still,, that didn't last long..
can't sleep because of it..
have to endure this for 10 whole days~
that means i'm stuck at home~ ==''
bored as hell..


to think of it..
i think it was kinda cool..
LMAO~
getting stitches and all..
haha
kk..
i think the meds are kicking in now..
will update bloggy when i have the chance~


*9 more days until stitches are removed*

Just read merhx~!

2010-05-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

Jagi went to college today T___T
i'm not sad that he went,,
it's just that i miss him already...
we'll be parted for quite a while..
he'll be back in July,,
but that's 2 months away!!
and i won't be able to spend my birthday with him... T__T
how could i survive without seeing him that long...
*sigh*
he went to UniKl in Kedah..
that's hecka far away..
can't even go visit..
cham~ ==''
well,,
i guess i just have to support him^^
i hope he does well..


and as for me..
although it's not yet confirmed,,
i think i'll be going to UiTM DUNGUN...
bangang~
so long hoping i'll be getting out of here..
still.. i'm stuck in this crap hole..
of all places!!
why the fuck does it has to be here??!!
FUCK THAT..
i hope Shedo will get in too..
at least i won't get too lonely there..

HAIH~ no mood la..
gonna stop typing edy..
or else imma talk shit..
so long din update bloggy oso..
haih~ cham..
bye2~ ==''

Recap~

2010-03-23T19:00:00.004+08:00

Ok.. i haven't blogged for ages..

and i have to catch up on so many things..
um.. okay..
the first thing i wanted to tell is about my SPM results...
it TANKED.. ==''
aimed for 6A's..
ended up with only 4A's..
blech.. i guess i'll take what i've got..
and the grades are different starting this year..
so i don't have a single clue how the grade the papers...

BAHASA MELAYU A-
BAHASA INGGERIS A+
PENDIDIKAN ISLAM A-
SEJARAH B
MATHEMATICS A-
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS D
PHYSICS C
CHEMISTRY C+
BIOLOGY C

lol... BARELY made it..
and Add Math got D.. WTF.... hahahaha...
really thought i was gonna fail..
and can't believe i got A for Math and C in Bio... then i came accross this pic..
yeah..
i FAILED~

aiyaks~ want to take Dip. in Psychology..
but mom kept babbling about TESL..
which i DON'T want to take..
never in my list of course intake..
but she kept making me to take TESL..
felt like shit having to study smth i duwan...
if i fail that will be her fault arhx..
on top of that she kept wanting me to go to UIA..
which i have to study Arabic if got in..
i don't even know a lick of Arabic and she wants me to enter UIA?!! i'd rather jump off a cliff..
i just dun care anymore..
i'll keep being her puppet..
and if i fail it will be her fault..

and i'm moving to Shah Alam this June..
ugh... which sucks~
as much as i want to leave Dungun,,
i don't want to part with my friends..
and also my jagi... *sob sob sob*
i can't imagine living so far away from him..
i'll miss him like crazy..
GAH!!! i just hope our uni are close enough for us to meet..
from what i've heard our new house is located in a place called Monterez???
it's a 3 storey house with 5 bedrooms..
the neighborhood is like the sub-burbs ..
haven't seen it though..
but will when i go to KL this Thursday..

my job at Hannalink Ent gets boring and boring..
not that i don't like working there..
but i got bored because there's nothing to do~ ==''
keep fooling around with the seniors there.. LOL..
will post pics of them when i got the chance to even take their pics.. XD

i requested for 2 days off,,
because my tummy wasn't feeling good..
until yesterday morning i started peeing blood.. i
was scared shit when i saw blood instead of pee..
after failed calling my jagi..
i crawled into bed and slipped under the covers..
and cried at 2am in the morning..
i kept running to the toilet wanting to pee..
but didn't.. it burned like hell..
so i did a research before going to the clinic..
and discovered that it was UTI..
Urine Tract Infection..
so relieved that it wasn't something else..
went to the clinic..
waited for an hour an a half.. *sigh*
and only saw the doctor for less than 10 minutes.. *grr*
but at least i got the see the doc..
she gave me meds and antibiotic,,
thank god i'm feeling better now...
and will be going to work tmr...

owh... i almost forgot..
went to Kuantan and hung out with miMi for a day..
went to see Alice in the Wonderland..

enjoyed the movie..
it was not so bad^^
glad i went to see it with her..
but my sis won't stop being a stuck up,
kept following us wherever we go..
i can't even enjoy my time with my best friend for a day..
i just wanna wring her neck till she stops breathing..
*calm down calm down*
i'll be away soon enough..
and that time i will never look back and just go on my way..
just hope i will be in the same uni as miMi..

well.. i guess that's about it.. will try updating blog often.. PROMISE.. lol.. time's out! ding ding~

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MO CHUISLE..!

2010-03-07T21:55:00.007+08:00

LOL.. i knew this was too late..
but i just HAVE to make this post ...
but i wanted to wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dear BF..
LOL..
what kind of a GF am i anyway..
wishing my own boyfriend's birthday this late..
hahahaha..
sorry honey...

anyway..
i can only give him this cute cupcake for the time being..
need to celebrate a real birthday for him..
i'll do it when he gets back..
hurm...
i wonder what should i give him..
need to think fast..
lol..
i'm such a bad GF..
din even have present yet..
*pia pia pia* XDDD


but he's not home today..
he went to get his driver's license..
thank god he passed..
hahaha..
he failed the first time..
so it's great that he passed this time..
now he just have to wait for his official license..
so,, mire reason to celebrate.. hahaha


But although we're happy now..
i have to admit that,,
we struggled in the beginning..
i once thought,,
how can something feel so right,,
can made me feel like it's so wrong..
but the fact is..
that WAS the proof that it was RIGHT..
i've never been so sure in my life..
i love him..


We've been through only god knows what together..

we were like glass..
so fragile that it can break with a single touch..
but now i know through those fragile moments,,
it actually made us stronger..
although i can't say that we're solid..
because i know that there are still spaces between us,,
that needs to be filled..
i will fill in those empty spaces in his life..
and so will he in mine..

So to my beloved SAIFULNIZAM,,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
i hope this year will bring you good things..
good health..
good luck..
good chances..
good opportunities..
i wish you all the best in life..
and i will be here..
standing by the sidelines,,
no matter what happens..
i will support you..
i will love you..
and i will always be there for you..

i hope,,

we get stronger each day..
and you love for me will be more each moment..
i know it's my mistake for loving you too much..
but i can't take it back now..
because it's too late for that..
i hope that you accept me for who i am..
love me because you want to..
NOT because you HAVE to..
i don't want your sympathy..
i just want your sincerity...
you give me confidence..
and i know i rely on you a lot..
i just hope that you don't disappoint me..
you're the only one i want,,
and the only thing that i have..
i love you Mo Chuisle...
Happy 18th Birthday..

Happy 10 months syg...

2010-03-01T22:52:00.003+08:00

we've been together for 10 months already..

i know there have been ups and down..
i never regretted anything..
except the time when i hurt you..
i'm so sorry for what i've done to hurt you..
you know i never meant to..
even since day one..
my love for you never changed..
i know it's been hard for you..
to deal with me..
and to accept me..
i know i'm not good enough for you..
but i'm selfish enough not to let you go..
i will never let you go..


the full moon tonight looks mesmerizing..
i've never seen such a beautiful sight in my life..
but i can't see the stars...
looking at the stars makes me remember of you..
when you first said that you like to watch the stars at night..
we weren't even together yet then..
but we already shared something very special..
i never regretted my decision for being with you..
some say i'm crazy for holding on to you this long..
i guess i am crazy..
crazy for you.. hahas..
there are times when i'm happy with you..
there are times when i'm extremely happy with you..
but there are also times,,
when tears fell,,
wet against my cheeks..
but i know that those tears are making me stronger..
it made me realize that you're the one i really want..
and no matter what we've been through,,
i will never give up on you..
NEVER..



i've got a lot to say..
but right now nothing seems to come out..
hahas..
but the one thing i know i want to say is that,,
I LOVE YOU SAIFULNIZAM..
more that you'll ever know..
never stop loving me..
don't give up on me..
because i will never do that to you..
I Love You Mo Chuisle~

Day Moon

2010-02-24T10:58:00.001+08:00

Painful, like a midday moon,
I was embraced by the you I desire..
Droplets form, the wind blows..
I fall into a sea of dreams..
I know this is like an aphrodisiac ..
from which I can’t return,
but you’re irresistible…
For the sake of this moment,
 I’ll surely be kept alive by these thoughts..
 
Until the day we melt into one..
I’ll never let go of you..
Even if the moon changes color..
and everything vanishes like smoke in the wind

When we can’t meet,
I’ll revisit a sweet memory over and over..
You live inside of me,
concealing my loneliness..

This might be a dream,
but it doesn’t matter,
I’m glad just to have this world..
Even the scars are lovely…
deep inside, I’m already anxious to go..


Until the day the sadness ends..
I’ll never let you go..
Even if the flowers rot away ..
and eternity is nowhere to be found..

Until the day we melt into one
I’ll never let go of you
Even if the moon changes color..
 and everything vanishes like smoke in the wind..

Until the day the sadness ends..
I’ll never let you go..
Even if the flowers rot away ..
and eternity is nowhere to be found..       

Take your sweet time..

2010-02-24T08:48:00.004+08:00

i don't know what to do anymore..
i leave it up to God..
i know i made mistakes..
and i regret them..
i never wanted to hurt you this way..
never knew that you felt like this..
even though you said you had enough of my "sorries"..
i am here to say i apologize..
for all of the things that i've done...
i'm sorry i hurt you..
i'm sorry i made you suffer..
i'm sorry that you ever regret being with me..
and i'm sorry for myself..
because making you feel sorry for me..
being with me because of your sympathy..
makes me feel like i don't deserve you..
for two nights i cried,,
not knowing when i fell asleep..
and waking up with streaks of tears on my face..
you love me less..
you're bored with me..
you said you don't trust me anymore..
i'm heartbroken when i knew that..
and i'll do whatever it takes to gain it again..
i know you don't want to see me..
i know you don't even wanna talk to me..
i know you're angry..
if gaining your trust means i have to wait,,
then i'll wait..
if you're in so much pain..
and you want me to leave..
then i'll leave..
i never want to hurt you..
i regret that i have..
if you're suffering..
i regret in for the rest of my life..
i don't want to leave..
never want to let you go..
but if staying means hurting you,,
i'd rather leave that keep staying..
i love you.. you know i do..
hurting you is the last thing that i want to do..
but here i am..
keep hurting you all the way..
if you want some time to think..
if you want some time to be by yourself..
take it as long as you want..
i'll be right here waiting in the shadows..
always watching over you..
i love you mo chuisle...

I'm Sorry..

2010-02-24T01:27:00.002+08:00

you said that this song expresses your feelings.. you know what,, it breaks me down when i read the lyrics verse by verse.. if i'd known you would be suffering like this, i'll step back and disappear from your life.. if you want me to go.. i'll go.. i can't live knowing that you're suffering like this.. i can't forgive myself.. i feel like i'm torturing you all this time.. if this is really what you want to say,, i'll go if you want me to.. i'll do it if you asked me to..


Ahli Fiqir - Derita Merindu

Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
 Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal
 Bagaimana nak kekal
 Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
 Bila aku gunakan, kau yang tak percaya
 Bagaimana nak bahagia

 Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
 Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
 Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
 Menanti biar terus didustai

 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu
 Tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa


 Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
 Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
 Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
 bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata
 harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
 Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
 Jikalau setiap hari merindu
 Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
 Aku pilih derita..

 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

 Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
 Akan ku biar tiada ku tetap kan setia
 Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
 Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah


 Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
 Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
 Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
 Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula


 Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
 Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
 Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
 Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
 Apalagi memandangku
 Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
 Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan..
 Aku masih terkilan

 Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
 Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
 Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
 Menanti biar terus didustai

 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa


 Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
 Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
 Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
 Baru kau ingat derita diriku
 Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku
 Apa gunanya bahgia
 Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu
 Aku pilih derita merinduimu

 Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
 Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
 Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
 Menanti biar terus didustai

 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
 Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
 Kaulah derita (bagimu)
 Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
                 

S.O.S

2010-02-23T08:55:00.006+08:00

It has gone from bad to worse.. yesterday i waited for his text all day.. but not even one came.. so i decided to call him last night.. wanting to tell him that i miss him and wanted to hear his voice.. but it only lasted for 1 minute and 42 seconds.. he picked up the phone and shut me off after that.. the sarcasm in his voice rang like a bell in my ear although our call has ended.. i pushed the red button and crawled into bed.. with my face buried in my hands.. i cried helplessly.. i was shocked, dumbfounded and frustrated.. why did he respond like that? what did i ever do wrong? he said that i didn't care if he didn't text me.. i remembered i plurked "i don't give a damn if you don't text me".. of course i was just saying that... i was pissed.. i waited all day for his text.. missing him every moment.. i felt like dying waiting for him.. i didn't know he was so upset.. he said that he wasn't mad but i know he is..

i never wanted this to happen.. he said i couldn't change and even if i did it would be only temporary.. i don't even know what that needs changing.. the picture in Facebook really ticked him off.. and this isn't the first time.. as a result i deleted my Facebook.. i'm fed up with most of the people in it anyway.. although that was the only way i could get in touch with my friends,, i can't risk my relationship with all their crap.. he said that he didn't want to think about what i do anymore.. he said that there are so many other things to think other that my shit.. i suddenly felt so unimportant.. so unwanted.. so humiliated.. my own boyfriend wants to cast me out.. am i such a bitch for your own boyfriend to do that to you??

maybe this isn't right after all.. maybe i'm not the one he's supposed to be with.. he deserves better than a good for nothing bitch like me... but the only one i want is him.. i need him... i love him... should i be selfish and still keep him with me even though i know he deserves someone better? or should i let him go to find that person..? one thing for sure,, i CAN'T let him go.. i just can't.. i think i'd die if i ever let him go.. i know it's selfish but i won't let him go.. but i won't keep him if he found someone worth for him..if he turns out to love another,, i have no choice but to let him go..i jut hope that he would never find that someone and would be with me forever..

i hope that i can make this better.. i need to change.. i have to change.. for the sake of us,, i know i do.. we still have a long way to go.. it's been 8 months, 23 days, 9 hours and 52 seconds we've been together.. although it was only for a short time,, i feel like he's my whole life.. actually,, he IS my whole life... i need him,, i love him.. and he's everything i want and the only thing that i've got.. without him,, i won't be me anymore.. it will be like a part of my life has been removed.. i love him enough to say that i can't live without him.. but would he be just fine without me? or would he say that he can't live without me either..?

Syg,

i know things look bad right now.. i know you're upset.. but the thought of you not caring about what i do just makes me feel so unimportant in your life.. i feel like such a burden to you.. and i am terribly sorry.. i have a lot of loose screws and i was hoping you could fix me.. if that sounds like to much too ask then i won't ask you of it.. i love you dearly and i want to be with you for the rest of my life.. i will try to fix myself.. i promise i will be a good girl.. just don't leave me.. don't resent me.. don't regret for having me beside you.. i won't live up to it if you do.. i know things won't be back to normal.. i know it will never be.. but i miss laughing with you.. talking to you.. texting you all day.. you're my only companion throughout my days.. they are filled with colours when i'm with you.. i managed to smile feeling content when i know that someone out there is missing me and loving me too.. i know that you still love me but i doubt that it was the same as before.. would you love me less?? i'm terrified that that would ever happen.. i want you to be happy with me.. no matter what the problem i want you to be happy being with me.. i can't fight these tears,, but i will fight for you.. i love you Saiful..

Express yourself!

2010-02-19T21:52:00.011+08:00

miMi slept over last night..
really glad to see her..
last seen her when we went to BGRC~
so i fetch her after work on Thursday..
and like she always does,,
she never stops to do something crazy..
this time she wants to make our hair red.. lmao~
so we did.. LOLs..
i only put up most of my pics here..
there were too much to put all of them..

our fave pic..


my best friend ever !
this is my fave pic of her..
lub u babe..

LOL..
i like the 2nd from right..

lower left is my pick~

miMi and me~^^

the caption says it all..

Love these pics^^

blech..
this one turned out small..
aixx..

expressions~
LOL...
dunno how to edit anymore..

time out.. ding ding!!

I GOT A JOB??

2010-02-17T11:51:00.005+08:00

got off to work at 8.30 tdy..

getting all exited about it merh..
then came to shop..
wait a bit cuz it wasn't opened yet..
just ate a piece of bread for breakfast..
still,, not hungry oso..
just wait till the boss come loh..
he wan to teach me things about my work..
i din do anything much my far..
just sat like a rock in front of the friggin' pc..
nah..
try not to complain much loh..
haha XDD
no matter..
wait till lunch and go fetch Cdah an go eat KFC.. ngek ngek~

just surf net loh..
internet is my best friend.. wakaka..
apart from miMi and SOULS that is..
and one of my non-human friend..
LOLs~

waited and waited and waited..
bored siiao~
right now just two customers come and pay bill..
no music oso..
at least not my kind of music..
the staff here oni play some jiwang malay songs..
ugh..
talk about torture..
when will the boss come anyway??
need to learn fast loh..
need to be a good employee..
LMAO~
never thought i'd say that..
and i can't believe i'm working!!
sort of.. haha XDDD

Kuantan Trip..

2010-02-13T23:40:00.009+08:00

Got a nightmare this morning...
it was about i'm being chased my some lunatic or something..
gah~
so damned scared.. XD
but then got a call from my mom as soon as i woke up..
she's asking me,,
whether i want to go to Kuantan for the day or not..
excited and still shocked from the nightmare,,
i said yeah,,
HAHA...
so off we went to Kuantan...



There, we went to ECM..
we were all hungry so go grab a bite..
discussing first in the car where to eat..

Sushi King

or

Johnny's

when no one knows what to decide,,
mom suggested that we eat Sushi for lunch,,
and steamboat for dinner..
wa~ mommy's so pro about what to eat first.. haha
MAKAN MANIA...
wakaka..
that was the nickname my aunt(her sister) gave her..
really got to hand it to her..
she knows where the best food at..
so yays for mom!! XDD



these are some pics i took at Sushi King.. LOL..

the plates are TOWERING~!!
LMAO~

My meal..
Chicken Curry Omelete..
it kinda tasted like mamak's curry..
LOL XDD
would die to eat REAL Japanese curry~

I forgot what this is called.. lol..
but it tastes really good!!
it's deep fried scallop..
kinda like a nugget..
but tastes better.. lol..

my mom, lil sis n dad..

my bro was missing in action.. haha..
he went to the toilet..
din get his pic..
lol..

this is my maid.. hurm..
kinda weird to say that cuz,,
i think she's younger than me..
she's nice...
bubbly..
well,, she is still a kid after all..
dunno why she came all the way here with such a young age..
sometimes i feel sorry for her..

managed to camwhore..
lmao~ XDD

after that went to see a couple of movies,,
first was,,


Percy Jackson&Olympians The Lighting Thief

this movie is not bad luhs..
heard it was an adaptation from a book..
gonna search for the book later..
lol..
uf u guys haven't seen this,,
this is a movie you have to see..!

next was,,

Valentine's Day

I dunno about you guys,,
but i'll give this movie a solid F~!!!
worse movie ever!
hated it!
only watched it because there are so many famous actors/actresses in this movie,,
but it sucked!

after watching the movies,,
went to eat dinner at Johnny's..
otw,, mom went into fitness shop..
i asked for some weights..
and she got an exercise ball and so rollers to make abs..
lol...
i need to make my body fit..
so hoping getting these stuff would make me exercise..
hahaha...

btw,, my sister got some Sunsilk promotion for something..
she got like 3 tubes of conditioner or something...
*dunno why i took a pic of this though*
lol XDD


my double rollers and weights~
gotta get some muscles going on.. hahaha

after exiting the shop went to Johnny's and ate..
*crap*
forgot to take pitures.. ==''
but i ate like a pig..
lol...
but i can't understand why am i still hungry now..
lmao~...
oh well..
was planning to get some TL stuff after that..
but TL was closed due to CNY..
haih... ==''
wanted to go see cameras too..
but the shop was already closed..
WTF~ ==''
this is no fun....
after then gave up and just wan to go home..
hahaha..

some school near ECM put on fireworks,,
we were getting in the car then,,
when we saw the fireworks everybody got out and watched..
lol...
i took some pics.. it was really pretty~!!

texted my jagi and miMi otw back..
as soon as arrived switched on the wireless and start blogging..
now i'm gonna go sleep..
so tired la~
goodnight~!!
and Happy Chinese New Year~!!

Uni Survey~

2010-02-12T19:00:00.005+08:00

ok.. it's like this,,
i dunno which uni to choose..
and which course to choose..
i got three courses in mind right now..

Language (Japanese/Mandarin)

Psychology

Interior Design

and these are the universities that offers me these courses..

 Sunway University College 

Selected course offered: Interior Design
Entry Requirements: minimum 3 credits,, profolio
Duration: 3 years


 The University of Nottingham 

Selected course offered: School of Psychology
Entry Requirements: minimum B in Math,, A1 in English
Duration: ---


 SEGi University College 

Selected course offered: Diploma in Interior Design
Entry requirements: minimum 3 credits
Duration: 2 and a half years

Selected course offered: Diploma in Psychology
Entry requirements: 3 credits
Duration: 28 months


 Raffles International College Kuala Lumpur

Selected course offered: Specialist Diploma in Applied Psychology
Entry requirements: 3 credits
Duration: 27 months

Selected course offered: Advanced Diploma in Interior Design
Entry requirements: 3 credits
Duration: 27 months


 Taylor's University College 

Selected course offered: Foreign Language Courses (Japanese/Mandarin)
Entry requirements: 5 credits including English,, pass Bahasa Melayu
Duration: ---

Selected course offered: American Degree Transfer Program-Psychology
Entry requirements: 5 credits including English and Math,, pass Bahasa Melayu
Duration: ---

Selected course offered: Diploma in Interior Design
Entry requirements: minimum 3 credits,, pass Bahasa Melayu
Duration: 3 years
*Further studies will be in Australia*


based on your opinion,,
which should i choose??
which one's better?
please guys,,
really need to know your point of view on this..

RAY Magazine March 2010 - Valentines' Day Q&A

2010-02-12T16:34:00.004+08:00

[JEJUNG]

Q. A menu you'd like to create yourself?
A: a-nation's LOVE Bento. I want to make it for someone I like. Although my cooking is considered good, it's lonely if I keep eating by myself!

Q. Do you think it's better if a girl knows how to cook?
Although it's good if she knows, I can always teach her if she doesn't! Cooking together, isn't that nice?

Q. Favourite food right now.
A: It's still super spicy food! It's different from my appearance, I'm full of passion inside! (laugh) I can't do without spicy food!

Q. For Valentine's Day, under what kind of circumstances do you want to receive chocolates?
A: As long as I receive them, I'm happy~!

Q. Please talk about a highlight of your new song!
A: Even though it's the cold winter season, those without partners please listen to this song and cheer up!

Message:
"Everyone has been supporting us for a long time, our achievements are all thanks to you. Please continue to support us. See you^^"
-Jejung-

[YUNHO]

Q. Please tell us a recipe that you'd like to taste again.
The healthy tofu and chicken hotpot that was published during December 2008. Because it's healthy and good for the body, but it's also delicious!

Q. Do you think it's better if a girl knows how to cook?
A. It's better if she can! Compared to someone who can't, if she knows how to then it's additional points. Something like that.

Q. Favourite food right now.
A. Intestines hotpot. It's really tasty! It also keeps your body warm so I crave it when it's cold.

Q. Please talk about a highlight of your new song!
In the PV, there's a scene where I'm dancing surrounded by other dancers. I think it's cool, so everyone, please be sure to watch it.

Q. It's going to be Valentine's Day soon. Under what kind of circumstances would you like to receive chocolates?
After a date and we've said goodbye, to suddenly discover that I've received it! Didn't notice it when we're together and I only discover it in my bag after I return home. That would be really nice.

Message:
"Please use the recipes that we've introduced, enjoy delicious and healthy meals and spend each day well~
Thank you everyone~"
-Yunho-

[CHANGMIN]

Q. A recipe that you tried out?
Crispy pizza. I love pizza! If I make it, I can eat it to my heart's content!

Q. Do you think it's better if a girl knows how to cook?
I think so. I think men can't resist a girl who can cook. If they use healthy ingredients they can become prettier too.

Please talk about your Valentine's Day memories!
A. There's nothing special... When I think about it, I just recall that it's Valentine's Day.

Q. What would you give on White Day?
I'll learn to cook and do it with sincere feelings.

Q. Please talk about a highlight of your new song!
As you listen, it has an energetic melody that makes you want to get up and dance. That's my recommended highlight.

Message:
"I hope that everyone can keep healthy and try a lot of delicious food and become prettier~
We'll meet again!"
-Changmin-

[JUNSU]

Q. Please tell us a recipe that you'd like to taste again.
The Thai curry that was introduced the first time. It tastes very unique. I feel comfortable after eating it, it was good.

Q. Favourite food right now.
Mentaiko onigiri. (T/N: Riceball filled with spiced roe.) I eat it whenever I have time.

Q. For Valentine's Day, under what kind of circumstances do you want to receive chocolates?
I want her to feed me chocolates.

Q. Besides chocolates, what other gifts would make you happy?
Kiss (laugh).

Q. A highlight of your new song?
The B-side to this single is "Xiahtic" and the beat is very cool. The melody and electronic beats blend well, recommended!

Message:
"For always giving us so much love, thank you everyone.
This year, I hope everyone has a happy year as well~"
-Junsu-

[YUCHUN]

Q. Please tell us a recipe that you'd like to taste again.
The mushroom and cheese gratin publish on October 2008.

Q. Do you think it's better if a girl knows how to cook?
I think it's better if she knows, but it's alright if she doesn't know from the start! If a girl wants to cook for someone she likes, she'll definitely become good at it!

Q. On Valentine's Day, besides chocolates, what other gifts would make you happy?
The time that we spent together.

Please talk about your Valentine's Day memories!
When I was living in America, I didn't receive a single chocolate.

Q. Please talk about a highlight of your new song!
It's a song with powerful beats and melody. It gives you strength and makes you feel "I'll work hard for the next 10 years!"

Message:
"Everyone~ That's all for now.
Please continue to keep supporting us."
-Yuchun-

OK girls, let's make our checklist:

DBSK wants:
1.) a Girl who knows how to cook
2.) chocolates
3.) their favorite food
4.) listen to their new song
5.) KISS <------ how long will i wait in line??? xD
kekekeke *___*

Source: [baidutvxq]
Translation credits: mandasoh@tohosomnia.net
Shared by: tohosomnia.net

Emotion test , don't cheat!!

2010-02-08T16:49:00.004+08:00

1. Which colour is better red, black, green, blue, or yellow?
-Blue.

2. Whats your first initial?
-N

3.what month were you born?
-June.

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
-Black

5. Name one of your friends
-miMi.

6. Pick a number 1-100?
-33

7. Would you like to fly or drive more?
-Fly~^^

8.lake or ocean?
-ocean

9. Think of a wish, but don't write it.
-got it!

1:
If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down.
Yellow - You are a very happy person.

2:
If you're initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3:
If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate.

4:
If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5:
This person is your best friend.

7:
If you chose:
Flying - You like adventure.
Driving - You are a person who loves traveling.

8:
If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself. You are very reserved but emotional.
Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people sometimes.

9:
This wish will come true only if you re-post this with the title:
Emotion test , dont cheat

Me babbling in Korean... hahahha

2010-02-08T00:37:00.003+08:00

ok..
this is embarrassing..
LMAO!
sorry if this offended anybody...
i was just having fun..
i was bored to death so i made this..
my Korean SUCKS so please correct me..
hahaha...
if anyone wants me to remove this please tell me..
post your comments in my cbox...

Bukit Gambang Resort City Trip~

2010-02-04T14:25:00.011+08:00

woke up at 6.30am yesterday..
my stomach was still acting up then from the gastric i had the day before..
the sun wasn't even up yet..
i turned on the porch lights and got to work..
i washed my filthy car at 6.40am..
wakakakaka XDD after that's finished,,
i climbed up the stairs to my room..
and when i was about to take a bath,,
Syidah called me and gave me the good news^^
turns out my jagi and Shahren can come with..
YAY~!!!
feeling excited,,
went into bathroom and took a shower


rushed my breakfast,,
grabbed the car keys (which took 10 minutes to find ==')
got everything into the trunk...

after everything was done got into the car

and started the engine...
the tank is full so i'm good to go!
picked up Syidah first..
and it was already 8am when i did..
we're way behind schedule..
then picked up jagi..
otw to pick up Shahren i got in the wrong way ==''
we're still in Dungun and we're already lost..
WTF==''
i'm a bad driver..
i dun have a sense of direction..
ignoring that,,
i got on the right road and picked Shahren up..
it was 8.30 then..
drove and drove and arrived at TATi..
picked up Kak Chik(Syidah's big sis)..
and got back on the road again..


when in Kuantan got lost again..
although got instructions from Ibu (miMi's mom),,
still got the wrong way,,
WTF==''
da guys made fun of me dy,,
embarrassing as it is..
i got to miMi's house..
picked her up,,
(i sound like a taxi or smthg picking everybody up XD)


arrived at BGRC at 11.30,,
the place was quite isolated..
but it was beautiful..
it's new and it's great!
snapped a few pics before changing..

at the entrance..
can't see it clearly though..
i guess u have to go and see it for yourself^^

this is the Coco Beach.. i almost drowned here.. lol
got in too deep..
almost panicked but managed to save myself.. XD
Syidah got a cramp and can't swim to the shallow water..
her sister can't do anything because the water was too deep..
and she can't swim XDD
thank god there's a lifeguard..
hahaha...
he dragged them away from the deep part..
LOL,, at least they have something to do rather than just sit there right??
i got stuck in the deep part with miMi too..
thanks to the tubes,, we could paddle on it without drowning,, LMAO~
we couldn't even move the tube at first.. hahaha
but the lifeguard told us how to paddle and we got to the shallow part..
my feel ached from the bicycle  kick.. LOL..
with no energy left,,
i asked my jagi to pull my hand and drag us.. hahaha...

this is the playground for kids..
but we played there anyway since nobody's there..
lol..
good thing we went on a school day..
it's not as busy..
only a few people were there,,
miMi jumped in first..
we all followed her except the boys..
they went somewhere else.. LOL..



with all of the laughing and swimming and sliding ,,
i got hungry.. LOL..
and i felt like puking..
my gastric was acting up again...
we went to the cafe and got something to eat...

my nasi lemak is finished edy,,,
it cost me RM3.80
LOL.. the food is quite pricey..
but it's normal for a place like this..

jagi and Sharen eating..
yumyum...

Shahren giving miMi a 'lil bit of his rice..
LMAO~
xmlu btowl~
kaka..

Syidah and Kak Chik...
Syidah kept asking her sis to buy food..
LMAO~
xhabis2 nk bodek...
first it was a burger,..
the hotdogs..
4 of them..
i was like..
OMG ~ o.O
hahahaha...

at the locker ..
want to put away the leftover hot dogs..
LOL..



we washed up and got changed again at 3pm..
prayed in the surau,,
it was inconvenient though..
the surau was in the toilet..
i read the review about the place before going..
and i guess i have to agree about ppl complaining about it..
after that we took some pix capturing the moments we were there..
too bad my camera isn't waterproof..
i could've brought it in the water if it is..
then i could take more pix..
but i have to manage with this one until then..
at least i can still take pix with it...

WOOTS~!
it's just me..
LOL~

wanted to get the pic of the view but miMi got in the way..
*get out of the way!*

snapped some pix with my jagi oso..
hehe..
really happy 'coz can hang out with him all day..

we're all smiles..
but tired siao then..
can't even pull out a smile..
LMAO~

miMi posing..
LOL..
she kept taking pix of herself with her phone..

and then she acted cute..
LOL~ XD

OMG~
mamat indon maner neh~...
wakakakaka XDD

it's Shahren loh~
he's texting someone~
i wonder who it is..
*winks*

LMAO~
can't stand looking at Shahren's face....
ROFL...

waiting for Syidah and Kak Chik..
wait ya...
hahaxx..

took a pic of mahself..
lol..

a view from the terrace~
forgot WHAT view was it...
hahaha..

it's miMi~!!!

the sun was so darn hot...
i dun even noe y we took a pic under the sun..
LMAO~

the girls~^^

the SOULS~^^

it's hot again~ had to squint my eyes...
and i smile funny,,,
LMAO~

before going to the exit..
managed to take another pic..
LOL...

Oppss~
he's eyes were closed..
*again again~!!*

it's Shahren luhs~

before heading back~

close up~^^

LOL~ everybody was so tired...
but took the pic anyway..

last shot!!


we were all so damn hungry after that..
LOL..
even after eating at the cafe earlier..
so we decided to go to miMi's house and grab a bite..

Ibu is really good in decorating the house,,
i've always loved her style..
so i snapped some pix of the room..
LOL.. XDD

some trinkets and photo frames,,
love them btw,,,
i wonder where she got them..
and how did she manage to find the place to get them..
hahahaha....

the TV area... the design is so simple yet modern..
just love it!!!
i'll hire her as my interior designer when i got my own place...
whenever THAT is..
LOL~


after that we head back home...
the 2 hour drive was excruciating.. ==''
my back hurts (and it still does)
and i was so sleepy..
but i manage to stay awake by singing along to the songs on my cd...
didn't follow the speed limit AT ALL..
i wonder how many tickets i was fined...
LMAO~
but wth...
i had fun!
we all did..
i wish we could go there agian..
and next time i want to bring the whole group there..
SOULS will love BGRC^^

Doll eyes~

2010-01-30T18:53:00.005+08:00

Cuz of the crap that's been happening..
i didn't get the chance to post this earlier..
HAIXX~ =='
I GOT MY LENS~!!
LMAO~ XD
got so excited that i went straight to the shop to claim it..
wakakaka...

cannot see it clearly when wearing specs~

so long wear specs my eyes got so sembab loh..
need to do something..
need to get rid of it..
ASAP!!!
anybody has suggestions??
ngek ngek~ XD

yuhuuu~
got my lens..
next time i'll buy with power loh..
then no need to wear specs..
and no more sembab..
yays~!!
XDDD

Dried Tears...

2010-01-30T15:41:00.004+08:00

i can't sleep last night..
thinking about how is it going to be..
are we going to be okay..
what will you answer??
to tell you the truth,,
i was scared..
scared to ask the question..
scared what will your answer turn out to be..




as soon as i realized i can't sleep anymore..
i texted you..
asking that question,,
"Are you bored with me?"
you said you weren't..
just felt smothered..
because of the 24/7 texting..
so i asked...
"What do we do now?"
with that,,
we reduced the hours we texted..




i don't mind any of that..
as long as we can fix this..
i don't want you to date me because you felt pity on me..
and i don't want you to continue dating me if,,
you're already bored with me...
since that is not the case right now,,
i'm glad..
we can still fix this..



i kept worrying..
whether we're going to be okay or not..
when you said we're just fine..
i was relieved..
i can put up a smile again..
i won't give on us easily..
even if i die,,
i can't let you go..
i love you..

Even If I Die,, I Can't Let You Go

2010-01-30T01:00:00.004+08:00

Even though I'm young, the pain is the same
Just because I don't know the world very well
Doesn't mean that I don't know pain

Why do you lie, saying it'll be okay?
How will my heart that hurts this much
Be healed so easily?
How will I live without you?
That's why I

Can't let you go, even if I die
How am I suppose to let you go?
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can't fix it so that I won't be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn't be able to live anyway
I can't let you go, even if I die

No matter how much you push me away
I'll hold onto you until the end
So that you won't be able to go anywhere

If you're really going to leave, then lie
That we should meet again tomorrow
That we should meet as we smile
If breaking up wasn't a joke, then I

Can't let you go, even if I die
How am I suppose to let you go?
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can't fix it so that I won't be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn't be able to live anyway
I can't let you go, even if I die

We went through so much time together
How are you telling me to live by myself now?
I can't do that, I can't

I can't let you go, even if I die
I really can't let you go
How am I suppose to let you go?
I can't let you go
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can't fix it so that I won't be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn't be able to live anyway
I can't let you go, even if I die


what i'm feeling right now..
is just like this song..
i feel like my heart is falling apart..
piece by piece..
bit by bit..



i'm crawling on my knees right now..
do you really want to break up?
do you really love me?
why do you keep hurting me like this?
are just taking the advantage?
because i love u,,
you can do whatever you want?
i'm hurt!!
but i can't let you go..


we're together ..
but apart...
i can feel the distance between us..
increasing..

Scarred..

2010-01-28T19:18:00.013+08:00

"I wanna broke up"

at first you said you love me..
and then you said this??
i don't understand..
but then you said that it was just a joke..
that you were just playing around..
because you have nothing to do..
because you were bored..
am i a joke to you??

i didn't expect that you would do this to me..
i cried and cried..
my heart is bleeding..
how could you??
why???
is this just for your amusement??
is it that fun to see me hurt?!

i sat in the corner..
thinking back to where we started..
we were happy..
aren't we?
honest..
sincere...
at least that's what i think..
now i knew a new side of you..
saying that you're bored with me..
and fed up with me..
but i took it..
didn't want to deny it..
because i love you..

When this happened,,
i felt a storm rampaging in my heart..
destroying everything in it's path..
i felt like i was drifting apart in that storm..
but when you told me it was all a joke,,
i was speechless..
dumbfounded..

i'm not a toy..
my feelings are not to be toyed with..
we've been together for 8 months..
with just 8 months i could turn out like this...
what if it's 8 years,,,???
i don't know what will i be like..
can you imagine what would happen then??

 i beg you..
don't do this again..
just stop..
please..
don't let my doubts towards you get the best out of me..
if you really love me..
you wouldn't do what you did..

i kept silent when you called..
and you got pissed..
you said you're bored with me..
that's fine..
but did you think it's okay to play me like this?
you think i'm not angry??!
well think again..


 how could you just laugh..
and pretend nothing's wrong??
is it that amusing?
my heart is torn and your laughing?



you can say you're bored with me..
but kept up with you..
from the beginning,,
you always did what you want..
never thinking what i thought or felt about it..
i never regretted anything..
never felt like you're a burden..
i naively fell in love with you,,
and love you with all my heart..
unconditionally..


congratulations..
you managed to break a girl who's already broken..
i thought i wouldn't break down if we broke up..
but i was wrong..
it felt that i torn inside out..
like i was punched in the stomach..
slapped in the face..
my heart was stomped on the ground..
it hurts so bad...


what you did will leave me scarred..
i know this is just a joke to you..
but because i love you too much..
i tend to take even your jokes seriously..
so please don't do this again..




even tears fell..
heart broken..
emotions scrambled..
feelings torn..
i still love you..
i will never stop..
i will never give up..
but please..
i beg you..
don't you ever do this again..

FRIENDS

2010-01-28T00:27:00.006+08:00

friends are precious to me..
FRIENDSHIP is a word that i take seriously..
i don't want to hurt my friends..
i don't want my friends to hurt me
i don't want us to hurt each other..

we all used to be so close..
why do we fight now??
we're like brothers and sisters..
why can't we open up to each other?
why don't we share our problems?
we are a family..
we are SOULS!!
did you guys forget that??
we're suppose to be for each other no matter what right?

SOULS is all about being yourself..
don't hide your true self..
take off that mask on your face..
stand up for yourself..
we're invisibly bonded together

i miss the old days..
where we could goof around..
and just have fun..
not caring of what others think..
we're just happy to be together..
i miss my friends..
i miss SOULS..



i know that we can work this out..
i know we could be like always..
i won't let this be..
i won't let us break apart..
i promise guys..

Congrats ~!!

2010-01-26T20:57:00.008+08:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG~!!!!!!!
he passed the interview!!
he GOT IN~!!
OMG...
i think i'm gonna faint...
i bet he's freaking happy right now..
he didn't even text me that he got in.. =.='
AIXX...
gonna scold him later for that XD
but now...
it's time to rejoice!!
i'm so glad that he got in...
wuhuhuhuhuhuhu..
Horray for my jagi!!
he got what he wanted..
i hope he's happy..






now..
here comes the hard part..
if he admits into ALAM,,,
i'll be left alone..
sob sob sob..





nah...
i don't care..
it doesn't matter where we are
we'll always be together..
i don't want to be that crappy GF
who's too clingy..
that's just pure BS man..
i'm tougher than that..
it's not like we're going to be apart forever right??
of course i'll miss him..
who doesn't miss their BF when their away??
LOL XD







it's not the end of the world if we're apart..
hurm... i guess we're bound..
i'm stuck with this dude..
LOL..
no matter what happens,,
he's the only one for me...
nothing can break us..
REMEMBER?
we'll be happy together for a long time..
i can see that..






i'll be his guardian angel,,
always look after him..
always love him..
always stay by his side..
never give up on him
always support him..
i want him to be happy
if he's happy then so am i..
i won't regret this..
not now
not tmr
not EVER..
ilysm syg..
imy~
*muax muax muax*

Gud Luck Syg~!!!

2010-01-25T23:59:00.007+08:00

Wawawawawawawawawa!!!

*jumping up and down*
mah jagi is going for an interview!!
he's interviewing for ALAM.. huhuhu...
i hope he passed the interview..
i'm especially worried about his English test...
*cross fingers*
hope he can ace it..
the interview is in KL..
aix... why does he have to be so far away from me XD





at first i was like upset coz he wants to enter ALAM..
cuz he's gonna be away for a long time if he did..
like three months or smth =='
i can't contact him if he's offshore..
i'll go crazy by that time..
afraid that i'll miss him too much that i'll die XD
bla bla bla bla....






but now i realized that that's what he really wants to do..
he wants to help his family
wants to be the one who puts bread on the table
dun wan to see his mother and siblings hav a hard time..
i respect his choice
although i was against it at first..
i understand his intentions..
he's the eldest..
he has responsibility..




we've been trough a lot together..
we used to fight..
A LOT..
but we managed to calm things down and understand each others' situation
we're now closer to each other more that you'll ever know





so....
gud luck jagi!!
i wish you all the best..
i will support you no matter what..
ilysm~

Doll eyes~

2010-01-23T01:37:00.005+08:00

okay... this is really really really getting me excited!! LMAO... i love what these lenses can do to your eyes... saw a friend of mine wearing these and i wondered how can her eyes get so BIG.. ROFL... THANX FEYS!! btw,,, i'm getting one of these.. what do you think if i wear one? XD

Always you,,, Saiful...

2010-01-22T02:23:00.002+08:00

Charice

I've been to so many moments in my life
Where I can't find anyone to turn to but You
Only You
Always You.

And when all that's around me are fallin'
You will remain there standing just for me
Only You
Only You.

In my weakest times, You were so strong
When all hope is gone, You carry on
I draw my strength from You
When I could no longer find any of it in me.

You are my life
You are my strength
I can't fight a battle alone
I can make it through when I'm with You.

'Cause You are my shield
You are my soul
You're breathing life into my heart
All the love that I have come from You
Always You.

I've been lost in the middle of nowhere
And I can't find my way home
I'm so lost without You
But You have pulled me through.

You took me in Your arms
And You rescued me from the dark
And now, I'm finally home
I feel safe, 'cause now I'm with You.

'Cause You are my life
You are my strength
I can't fight a battle alone
I can make it through when I'm with You.

'Cause You are my shield
You are my soul
You're breathing life into my heart
All the love that I have come from You.

All the love that I have come from You..

You are...my life
You are my strength
I can't fight a battle alone
I can make it through when I'm with You.

'Cause You are my shield
You are my soul
You're breathing life into my heart
All the love that I have come from You.

Always You, always You
Always You, only from you
All the love that I have come from You
Always You.

Unrequited Love~

2010-01-22T01:31:00.005+08:00

This kind of love is the most painful thing that can damage the heart so bad... It takes a lot of courage to confess your feeling to the one you love but it may risk everything you have with that person... a friendship can simply be broken if the other person doesn't feel the same way... it's hard to quench a heart in thirst.. it's a task to fill a whole in one's heart.. the sun rises, the sun sets..the moon rises, the moon sets.. but, tomorrow will always come... In order to survive another day..gather a handful of courage...And never take it for granted... spread your wings to the place that gives you light and warmth... find your sun...

back to one~

2010-01-15T22:20:00.006+08:00

NINE HOW'S:

How did you celebrate your last birthday?
my jagi bought me a cake^^

How are you feeling at this moment?
my back hurts.. XD

How did your night go last night?
Sleepless..

How did you do in high school?
i'm an average~

How did you get the shirt you're wearing?
i dunno.. it happened to be mine a long time ago.. XD

How often do you see ur best friend?
every time i got the chance..

How much money did you spend last month?
forgot~ XD

How old do you want to be when you get married?
dunno how old but definitely after i got a job and a stable salary.. huhuhu

How old will you be at your next birthday?
18..I'll be a legal adult! YOUNG adult.. kah3

NINE WHAT'S:

Your mothers name?
Faizah

What did you do last weekend?
how am i suppose to remember that? LOL

What is the most important part of your life?
my memories~ i won't be ME if i lost them..

What would you rather be doing?
you really wanna noe? keke~

What did you last cry over?
idk~ friggin' depression's fault

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
MUSIC...

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
a beautiful smile~

What are you worried about ?
my future

What did you have for breakfast?
i didn't have it.. 

EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:

Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
*nod* Yupyup

Have you ever had your heartbroken?
i lost track~

Have you ever been out of the country?
Yup~ Australia..

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
YEAH~ like participating in a district public speaking although i know i SUCK~

Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
You'd be surprise...

Have you ever had sex on the beach?
no.. but it must be some sexy stuff to do it on the beach.. LOL

Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
i haven't actually...

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
YUP2!! a lot of times... hehe

SEVEN WHO’S:

Who was the last person you saw?
my dad

Who was the last person you texted?
my SAIFULNIZAM~ ^.^

Who was the last person you hungout with?
Mus.. haha

Who was the last person to call you?
my SAIFULNIZAM..

Who did you last hug?
you know who... hahaha

Who is the last person who texted you?
isn't it obvious? XD

Who was the last person you said "i love you" to?
my boyfriend luhs~ =.='

SIX WHERE’S:

Where does your best friend live?
in my heart? hehe

Where did you last go?
Beach..

Where did you last hang out?
Home..

Where do you go to school?
I graduated dy lor...

Where is your favorite place to be?
my room~ 

Where did you sleep last night?
on the bed... duhh...

FIVE DO’S/DOES:

Do you like someone right now?
it's more than that..

Do you think anyone likes you?
yup~ POSITIVE~

Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Yes.. totally..

Do you know the muffin man?
Hah??

Does the future scare you?
LOTS~

FOUR WHY’S:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
because they're the best of friends that i could ever have...

Why did you get a myspace?
just canceled it.. LOL

Why did your parents give you the name you have?
beats me.. XD

Why are you doing this survey?
BOREDOM~  =__="

THREE IF’S:

If you could have one super power what would it be??
Read minds like Edward Cullen.. LMAO~

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
if only i could..

If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring?
my sanity... LOL~

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:

Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
NO WAY~

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
if that someone can really be saved,, then i'll do it

ONE LAST QUESTION

Are you happy with your life right now?
who knows~

CRY ME OUT

2010-01-12T00:38:00.004+08:00

Good song for those heartbroken ladies~ love Pixie... U GO GIRL~!

I got your emails
You just don’t get females
Now, do you?
What’s in the heart
Is not on your head
Anywhere

Mate, you’re too late
And your weren’t worth the wait
Now, were you?
It’s out of my hands
Since you blew your last chance
When you played me

You’ll have to cry me out
You’ll have to cry me out
The tears that I’ll fall
Mean nothing at all
It’s time to get over yourself

Baby, you ain’t all that
Maybe, there’s no way back
You can keep talking
But, baby, I’m walking away

When I found out
How you messed me about
I was broken
Back then I believed you
Now, I don’t need you
No more

The pick on your phone
Proves you weren’t alone
She was with you, yeah
Now, I couldn’t care
About who, what or where
We’re through

You’ll have to cry me out
You’ll have to cry me out
The tears that I’ll fall
Mean nothing at all
It’s time to get over yourself

Baby, you ain’t all that
Maybe, there’s no way back
You can keep talking
But, baby, I’m walking away

Gonna have to cry me out
Gonna have to cry me out
Boy, there ain’t no doubt
Gonna have to cry me out

Won’t hurt a little bit
Boy, better get used to it
You can keep talking
But, baby, I’m walking away

Listen, I got the emails
I got the text
The answer’s still the same
It’s the way it is
I got to go

You’ll have to cry me out
You’ll have to cry me out
The tears that I’ll fall
Mean nothing at all
It’s time to get over yourself

Baby, you ain’t all that
Maybe, there’s no way back
You can keep talking
But, baby, I’m walking away

You’ll have to cry me out
You’ll have to cry me out
The tears that I’ll fall
Mean nothing at all
It’s time to get over yourself

‘Cause baby, you ain’t all that
Maybe, there’s no way back
You can keep talking
But, baby, I’m walking away

XOXO,
Anne Skye

My Naughty WILD BUNNIES~

2010-01-07T00:22:00.003+08:00

these are the trans of 'All night long' by 2PM..... keke~ my naughty Wild Bunnies... you really noe how to treat a girl right.. 

Girl
Come a little closer
Let me show you
What you never felt before

I’ve been searching for time for just you and me
I’ve been waiting for this day anxiously
Today I’ll show you a sincerity
Nobody else has ever seen
Now relax and I’ll hold you in my arms
Close your eyes and start counting
One two three four
By the time you count to 10
I’ll take you to my room

All night long
Baby accept me all night long
I want to be with you ’till the sun rises
(Baby I’m yours)
Right here, hold me right here
Let me be responsible for your heart
(Girl you’re mine)

There’s no need for complicated explanations
Just by the meeting of our eyes,
I can feel it, I know it all
How deeply you’ve fallen for me.
Now relax and come closer to me
Don’t hesitate and hold me tight
More, more, more, a little more
I want to be like this with you forever baby

All night long
Baby accept me all night long
I want to be with you ’till the sun rises
(I want to be with you baby)
Right here, hold me right here
(Here, here)
Let me be responsible for your heart
(Girl you’re mine)

It seems unnecessary for me to say that,
Out of the 50% of the world that are women,
The fact that I met you is a miracle,
But when I look at you those words spill out
When my eyes meet the eyes that
look at me it just spills out, out, out
Oh my god
Brush your red lips against my cheeks
Melt my heart with your sweet words
Here there there here there here there there
Until all other girls don’t look like girls at all

 All night long
Baby accept me all night long
I want to be with you ’till the sun rises
(Baby I’m yours)
Right here, hold me right here
Let me be responsible for your heart
(Girl you’re mine)


~2PM : Forever Seven~

why did you do that...?

2010-01-03T13:41:00.004+08:00

It hurts..

like i was being shot..

i missed you..

that i can't sleep at night..

but it finally turned out this way..

my heart is bleeding..

bit by bit it began to shatter..

all over again.. 

and all what's left are tears dried up on my face..

to break a heart which is healing..
i felt more broken that i've ever been..

i only said i was sorry..

is that so wrong?

again i've became a burden to you..

again i've made you regret..

again you've hurt me..

slowly i came to see who you really are..

did i make the wrong step?

it's already a too little too late..

i can't back out now..

i will bear this pain..

in order to be with you..

i will sacrifice my idea of happiness..

so we can still be together..

despite the tears and pain..

i still love you Saifulnizam..

Forever, no matter what..

I promise..

I miss you Saifulnizam~

2010-01-03T00:25:00.002+08:00

I haven't seen you in a while... i missed u so much.. i can't think straight and i can't do anything right.. i want to be with you.. in your embrace.. to feel your touch.. to hear your voice.. to smell your scent.. please hurry back.. i want to see you.. i need to see you.. i have to see you.. my heart is racing towards you.. i love you~

New Year Survey~ Kaka

2010-01-01T01:11:00.002+08:00

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
-closed luhs

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
-sometimes~ LOL

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
-Out~ wait.. In.. no no.. Out? IDK.. =.='

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
-What?? Kaka no luhs~

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
-NONE~! i would rather be attacked by my "Polar Bear"~ Keke~

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
-I think so~

Whats your least favorite movie?
-the one i dislike the most.. XD

Can you change the oil on a car?
-Hurm... NO?

What your favourite sandwich ?
-Tuna~!

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
-WTF?! Heck no~

What is on your bed right now?
-Pillows& mah Felix~ hehe

When was the last time you threw up?
-I forgot~

What's your favorite word or phrase?
-Saifulnizam.. KAH3... corny huh? but it's true~

Name 3 people who made you smile today?
-My Saifulnizam, Mus, Tubby(mah bro~ keke)

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
-Keras g atas ktil~ kah3

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
-Practice playing guitar~(I STILL SUCK)

What is your favorite holiday?
-Dunno reli~

Have you ever been to another country?
-YUP~^^

What is the last thing you said a loud?
-"AISY!" cuz i can't find mah car keys~ kah3..

What is the best ice cream flavor?
-Pistachio Almond! 

What was the last thing you had to drink?
- Sarsi?

What are you wearing right now?
-pehal nie pn nak taw neh?? cbuk jew~

What was the last thing you ate?
-Pizza~keke

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
-Clothing? NO Comics? YEA Brand new phone? HELL YEA~ XD

When was the last time you ran?
-last week

What's the last sporting event you watched?
-Surfing~

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
-Korea, Japan, US...

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
-i forgot~

Ever go camping?
-yup2..

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
-yea.. haha

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
-not reli~

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
-depends..

What did your last text message say?
-a good night text 4rum mah jagi~ keke~

Are you someone's best friend?
-yes.

What are you doing tomorrow?
-Sleep.. watch TV.. sleep.. eat.. poo.. sleep

Where is your mom right now?
-why do you wanna noe?

Look to your left, what do you see?
-tong sampah~ haha

What color is your watch?
-i dun have one.. 

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
-Sydney, Auntie Suhaila, best vacation EVER~

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
-Who hasn't?

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
-depends

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
-i don't think so

Do you have a dog?
-nope

Last person you talked to on the phone?
-Aizul Petok~ asked him if he wanted a lift.

Any plans today?
-The only thing left to do is to SLEEP~ =.='

Are you happy?
-I guess so~

Where are you right now?
-in my room.

Last song listened to?
-Big Bang's Halleluyah

Last movie you saw?
-AVATAR~!!! the most awesome movie ever!!

Are you allergic to anything?
-Hypocrites.. fakers.. backstabbers..

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
-Hush puppies shoes~

Are you jealous of anyone?
-Of course~ =.='

Are you married?
-not yet~ wait 'till i got my PhD kays?

Is anyone jealous of you?
-i dunno n dnt care

Do any of your friends have children?
-i don't think so luhs~

Do you eat healthy?
-hahahahaha~ i wish..

What do you usually do during the day?
-ikt ske arw nk wt pape pn~

Do you hate anyone right now?
-mesti arw~

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
-maybe?

How many kids do you want when you're older?
-no comment~ XD go ask mah jagi~ XDD

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
-18 ~! 

How did u get one of your scars?
-I fell?

Do you still like your ex?
-Why would i still like that f**king JERK?!

Whats your first name spelled backwards?
-ANINAMA~ KAH3 WTF was that~ MAJOR weird..


Whats the best partyy you have ever been to?
-i'm looking forward for the best.. whenever THAT is.. KAH3

Are you shy or outgoing?
-It depends..

How old are you in 2 years?
-you do the math~

What school do you go to?
-High School arhx~

Are you happy with your life?
-most of the time~

What time did you get up today?
-8.30am , haha

Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen?
-A LOT~

Are you cold?
-kinda~

Who's your bestfriends?
-SOULS!

What your favourite colour ?
-black&white

Whats your favorite animal?
 -Kitties~

Are you gay; straight; or bi?
- STRAIGHT~ DEFINITELY STRAIGHT~

 Who do you like?
-I like a lot of ppl~

 What day were you born?
 -go ask mah mom luhs~

Do you like to go skating?
-yupyupyupyupyup~ wish to go ice skating with mah jagi one day~

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
-not reli~

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
-nope~ wish i have though..

Ever snuck out of your house?
-yeah~ kah3

What did you do today?
-penat r jwb sln cmney..

Do you like someone right this second?
-didn't i just told you i like a lot of ppl???

Would you ever get a tattoo?
-if i have a death wish, then yeah~

Are you a morning person or a night person?
-night.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
-poke it to see if it's really dead.. XD

Do you like to spend time with people?
-most of the time~

Are you hungry?
-kinda?

Are you a forgiving person?
-it depends on the situation...

When was the last time you did the dishes?
-today~ during lunch..

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
-nope~

Do you want a relationship right now?
-i'm IN a relationship.. haha

Your name plus "ness"?
-Anin-ness~.. kah3.. suddenly i liked my name backwards more...

Three feelings at the moment?
-sleepy,annoyed,boring

Done anything you regret so far in life?
-Absolutely YES~

Are you listening to anything?
-Taeyang's Where U At

What are you scared of?
-ALLAH SWT

Last song you sang out loud?
-Taeyang's Wedding Dress~ fave..

Are you thinking of someone right now?
-YES

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
-some pics i think...

Have you changed much this year?
-i noe so..

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
-Sunway Lagoon? Porch? Downstairs? what kind of a confusing question is this???!!

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
-yeah~ but i forgot who...

Do you speak any other language?
-English~ duh... Korean and Japanese oso~

Do you dress for style or comfort?
-both^^

What's the craziest thing you've done?
-too many.. haha

What is your favorite Nickelback song?
-Savin' Me,Gotta Be Somebody, Someday, Photograph...

Last time you smiled?
-Just now..

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
-I want peace.. and love..

Goodbye 2009~

2009-12-31T21:51:00.005+08:00

2009 passed by so fast.. how time flies today.. 2009 was an awesome year.. although it has it's ups and downs, i still find 2009 to be a meaningful year for me.. i found the meaning of true friendship and true love.. if i could i want to re-live the great times in 2009.. everything that occurred this year has given me so much experience and wisdom..

i sat for SPM this year and i hope that the outcome is not frustrating.. i hope my efforts paid off.. i hope i can make my parents proud of me.. i did things to them that i'm not even proud myself.. i felt guilty.. sorry.. and i regret that i have caused them pain in whatever way.. i know that 'sorry' doesn't even has it's value when it comes to a broken heart of a parent.. i hope i can mend my relationship with my parents.. i shut them out of my life as long as i can remember.. i know it's hard to mend things which are critically damaged.. but i will make an effort..

2009 gave me a chance to strengthen my friendship bond by forming SOULS which has 18 members.. those members i consider as a family.. a family of my own without sharing any blood ties.. i love each one of them as if they're my real family.. i shared most of the things in my life with most of them.. so thank you i would like to express to them.. for being there for me and never cease to support me in whatever i do and adviced me if i did something wrong or whenever i need it..

To my beloved Saifulnizam.. i wish we would be together in a long time.. we too have been through a lot together.. i hope you will never give up on me and most importantly on us.. we both also have experienced painful relationships before.. i promise to make your relationship with me as less painful as your previous.. i'm sorry that i have caused you a great shame.. i'm sorry that you've felt that i was a burden.. i'm sorry that once ago you regretted for being with me .. and i'm sorry if i ever dissapointed you.. we have our misunderstandings and i want to deal it with you without any complications.. we're still a long way to know each other truly.. but with our 8 months relationship, i'm beginning to see who you are little by little.. i'm trying to understand the real you.. to accept it as it is.. and i hope you will also do just the same.. we're both imperfect in our own ways.. we have our own flaws.. i hope that you will point out mine so that i can improve them.. i want you to be honest with me.. i know i'm not good enough for you.. but i'm selfish enough to say that i want you to never leave me.. I love you..

I hope 2010 will bring good things to me.. i'm taking a step into adulthood.. i will follow my own path to the future.. my destiny awaits..

FAREWELL 2009, WELCOME 2010~

On Air~

2009-12-30T04:53:00.004+08:00

Wah~ ige jikjia juhta~! keke~ i dunno if the romanization was right but what i meant to say was THIS IS FRIGGIN AWESOME~!!! i know this movie aired a not long ago but i just finished the whole drama.. wanted to watch it when it aired but because of SPM i missed it. what a waste loh~ i should've watched this drama earlier~ Wah~ love it so much that i'm too excited to go to sleep!! i was so consumed by the drama that i brought it even in my dream... kaka~ this piece is REALLY addictive... the script is really interesting.. although there were many shouting~ LOL i think this drama shows a little bit of Korean's reality biz world.. i don't fully understand the going's on in the biz but i think i knew just enough.. anyways~ the drama is fun to watch.. heartwarming.. i recommend this drama to all Korean drama lovers.. you won't regret with what you'll witness.. i dunno how to describe the whole thing to you so you just have to check it out on your own~ YAWN~ i guess i better go to bed.. it's 5 am already i wonder when i'll wake up today.. there're still many dramas i haven't watch...wah~~ till next post.. xoxo~

For my Polar Bear~

2009-12-22T02:54:00.001+08:00

Can I Have This Dance

Take my hand
Take a breath
Pull me close
And take one step
Keep your eyes
Locked on mine
And let the music be your guide.

Won't you promise me (Now won't you promise me)
That you'll never forget (We'll keep dancing)
To keep dancing
Wherever we go next

It's like catching lightning
The chances of finding someone
Like you
It's one in a million
The chances of feeling the way
We do

And with every step together
We just keep on getting better

So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance?)
Can I have this dance?

Take my hand
I'll take the lead
And every turn
Will be safe with me

To be afraid
Afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you
Through it all

And you can't keep (even a thousand miles)
Us apart (can keep us apart)
Cause my heart (cause my heart)
Is wherever you are

It's like catching lightning
The chances of finding someone
Like you
It's one in a million
The chances of feeling the way
We do

And with every step together
We just keep on getting better

So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance?

Oh,
No mountain's too high enough
Oceans too wide
Cause together or not
Our dance won't stop

Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe
That we were meant to be,
Yeah,

It's like catching lightning
The chances of finding someone
Like you (Like you)
It's one in a million
The chances of feeling the way
We (we do) do

And with every step together
We just keep on getting better

So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance?)
Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?

Catching up~

2009-12-22T01:07:00.002+08:00

Hurm~ hye guys... it's been a while since i blogged... been busy luhs~ SPM is OVER so THANK GOD for that.. kaka~ hurm.. got some family issues.. past that and now i'm depressed.... gah~ good thing my jagi is still here.. dunno what i'll do without him... something crappy came up just now.. i hate it when people meddle in my buisness.. broke a fight with him but nothing serious.. i'm just trying so hard to understand him and what i did wrong... i did things that i'm not proud myself.. and i felt sorry that he had to deal it along with me...sorry polar bear~

Jinx

2009-11-28T20:28:00.002+08:00

Today was probably the happiest day of my life~ and would also probably be the most important day in our days together. i can still feel butterflies in my stomach every time i remembered what happened. i can still feel how my stomach flipped.. sweet times.. beautiful memories.. however, i'll keep what happened to myself.. i promised that i won't tell.. haha.... XD but i never would have thought that this wonderful day could turn out like this. my poor jagi~ something happened. something that i would rather keep a secret than posting it in my bloggy~ he was super upset when he called me. i just don't know what to say to calm him down or how to help him.. again i feel so helpless.. all i can do is wait and be patient... just until SPM is finished... then i can text him back... i miss him so much.. but i won't bug him... or do anything that can hurt him more.. WAAAA~~! so worried... i wonder how he's doing~ i really do hope he's okay~ since i still have 3 papers left for SPM, i'll do my best... for my jagi~ i promise i'll try hard.. i love you jagi~

Last Flight Out~

2009-11-21T19:23:00.002+08:00

i dedicate this song to my beloved BF~ i wish that he would dedicate this song to me though (a wish that would never come true..XD kaka~).. haixx.. he doesn't have a romantic bone in him... tsk..tsk...tsk.. but who cares.. i still love him.. kakaka~ LOVE YOU JAGI!

Plus One Last Flight Out~

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've feel will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]
I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

[c h o r u s]

Can you tell me why?

2009-11-20T10:25:00.002+08:00

All my life i've been searching for the right guy..and now i believe that i have found him..but why do i feel like i'm abandoned?why do i feel like i'm the only one who's loving him?

is it just me?

if it's not then what is it??i feel like i'm the one who's chasing him..who's been loving him all this time..i know that he has some weaknesses..no one's perfect in this world

he's a guy who's hot-tempered

he's a guy who's stubborn

he's a guy who's skeptical

he's a guy who's sarcastic

he's a guy who's obnoxious

he's a guy who's annoying

he's a guy who makes a joke at the wrong place and the wrong time~

GAH~!!!

sometimes i HATE him...

but why am i here?

still beside him..

continuing to love him..

without conditions

without regrets

without wanting to walk away

without caring if it hurts

without feeling to let him go??

Why? Doushite? Wae? Kenapa?!

I know..

it's because I love him.

I love him dearly.

I love him insanely.

I love him totally.

I love him greatly.

I love him so much.

too much......

so there...

no matter how hard it is.

i'll never let him go

i'll never give up on him

he can treat me like crap

he can talk to me like crap

but i have patience..and that patience is often limited..as long as he doesn't break that patience..

we'll be okay..

P/S: kalu dye tbc bnd nie jgn amek hati r~ nie cme feeling semasa jew.. org still sy dye gne2 pown.. i only want you by my side... org taw dy tkan.. tp ni cre org hlngkn tknan org.. org xley tlg dy.. dye xtaw pe org rse ble org xley tlg dye n juz tgk je dy g2.. "dy taw pe" ble dy ckp g2 kt org.. hurm.. org rse xgne.. pe gne org kalu org xley tlg dye..

Wedding Dress~

2009-11-16T22:04:00.002+08:00

Tae Yang Wedding Dress

Some say it's not over till its over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please dont take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When Im by myself I talk to you like you're here
Ive felt so restless every night
Maybe Ive known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, dont take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

Where U At?!

2009-11-16T21:57:00.002+08:00

The dance steps are killing me.. =='.. after SPM i'll copy it~ I PROMISE~!! keke~

Tae Yang Where U At

I don't even know your name, girl
but I will get you somehow
just got let me know where you at
cuz Im here, come here

Its as if you know me from the first glance
When I saw that familiar smile of yours
My footsteps stopped as well

baby,
Time flies by with a blink of an eye
But I remember that feeling at that moment
Anyhow it feels insecure
So can I try it again

When I turn around to see you again
You are only getting farther

Today I am going to find you again
and stay on this spot

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Please tell me right now
So my love can start
where u at, girl

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you

As if my loneliness is understood
Those expressions of yours is unforgettable
You understand my feelings

Perhaps you are having a hard time like Im
If this cold world
Collides and tires you out
Please wait until I can meet you

No matter how much I run to find you
You are only getting farther

As usual today I am
Over the skies and shout towards your path

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Please tell me right now
So my love can start
where u at, girl

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you

Lets go

Let me break this time
Somewhere today
You, who will be listening to this song
Ill promise you right now that
You were meant for me, so I will be there for you

I just wanna know where u at
where u at
where u at
where u at

Tell me right now
So my love can start

I just wanna know
where u at
where u at
where u at

Someday when I am called
I will be already standing beside you
I will be standing here

Heartbeat~ 1:59PM

2009-11-14T00:30:00.003+08:00

Ok.. the song isn't working so much for me.. love 'Again&again' and 'I Hate You' more.. i can't deny that their style is off the hook and they're getting hotter by the second.. kaka~ XD.. but i dunno.. something seems off.. The presence of Jaebom... I think that's what missing.. WE NEED JAY BACK~!!

Can you feel my heartbeat
the heart that you stepped all over and left
is still beating. and it’s beating for you

no matter how hard i try to forget
no matter how many new people i meet
why do i keep thinking of only you when i turn around
i don’t want to do this anymore. i want to stop.
no matter how many times i try and try to stop myself
it’s no use. my heart is broken. why

why do i keep doing such foolish things
i know in my head, but why is my heart rebelling
i’m holding on to you and can’t let go.
it still feels like you’re next to me.
i can’t believe in farewell

no matter who i meet, i can’t open up one part of my heart and i keep your place empty
there’s no reason for you come back, but why do i keep thinking that you might come back
why isn’t my heart listening

listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you
don’t i know that it’s over. i don’t understand why i’m like this
listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you
it still hurts thinking of you. i think of you every time my heart beats

i have to forget. i have to forget in order to live
i have to erase it. if i don’t, i’ll die
stop trying to get her back. she ain’t coming
she’s gone, gotta be moving on
she left. she won’t come back. she doesn’t think of you.

she doesn’t know that i’m waiting for her, she’s doing well
she already forgot about me, totally erased me.
why can’t i do that

listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you

my heart is beating faster and faster
my heart is beating faster and faster
my heart is beating faster and faster
my heart is beating faster and faster

Heaven

2009-11-14T00:25:00.003+08:00

Ok.. this is so ridiculous and embarrassing.. haha.. i just KNEW that Big Bang's My Heaven is a translation track of Heaven from their Korean album.. KAKA~ anyways.. i love the Japanese remake better.. hehe.. but the lyrics i have to give props to the Korean version.. just LOVE IT~! check it out..

I love you, I remember you, Heaven

[GD] (Sing it together! Big Bang, Hey T, let’s do it brah! Go go go)

la la la la-

[TOP] 24/7 you are everlasting heaven
[GD] 24/7 you are my only heaven
[TOP] 24/7 you are everlasting heaving 24/7 heaven

[GD] (Let’s go) Thought it would be the last, thought the second would never come
Love that didn’t suit me at all came to me this hot summer
My other half that I’ve waited and waited for, I always had a dream about you
You are my resting place in my heart,
I want to stare and stare again, give and give again

[TOP] I feel thirsty because of flutter, why does my love run away
I am mad, it’s not going how I wanted, I can’t understand
But I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to be apart from you
You are the one in my life you are more beautiful than heaven

[Chorus]
I love you, I call you, I remember you, I wait for you
Your one phrase, that “I love you” phrase
I love you I remember you (I remember your everything)

[TOP/GD] Tears of sorrow, sky, star, and heaven

[SR] You breathe in my every lifestyle
I see only your name in my phone without knowing

[YB] I hold your hands several times in one day
I feel like I have everything when I kiss you

[TOP] Oh baby a sweet aroma from mini-hompi that I visit everyday
[GD] Oh baby a short text message is too short to express my love

[DS] People make fun of me, (but) I feel happy everyday
[TOP/DS] (Oh baby I feel alive these days) because of you

[Repeat Chorus]

(GD: Hey, hey listen to me)

[DS] Everyday I am afraid; what if you leave me again, become vague from me

[YB] (I feel) so thankful, (I) love you so much, you are the only person in the door of heaven inside of my heart

[Repeat Chorus]

[GD] 24/7, my heaven

声を聞かせて

2009-11-09T16:17:00.002+08:00

Big Bang Let Me Hear Your Voice

The rain just now has stopped
The smell of asphalt is floating around the city
Hey, over there too, the weather is fine already right?
For the weather has cleared up from the west (***)

Since you’re not a morning person
Everyday, will you be able to wake up properly?
I’m still worried about things like that

With freedom like the spreading sky
Nothing is changing, but
Next to me now, it's just… it’s only just that you aren't here

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We'll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, definitely
An important STEP to that future

The first time I met you was
Around this season right?
The lit up street
Glowed so beautifully

You were a crybaby, after that you often
Laid your forehead on my shoulder
Crying right?
Wanting to feel my warmth for nothing

Everyone lives, carrying their own troubles
Desperately holding his broken heart

Let me hear your voice
If we become more kind
We'll be able to love each other
Don’t avert your eyes
Let me hear your voice
Let's get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness
The feelings of this moment become our bond

Yeah, Since you went away hasn't been the same
In my heart all I got is pain
Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can't maintain
Sunlight, moonlight you lit my life realize in the night
Why love shines bright
Cant let you go we were meant forever baby let me know

This past without you, can't forget you
Let me be the cloud hanging above me
Raining on me missing you touch
Nights get long and it's hard to clutch
We're apart, breaks my heart
Its all for the best girl you're my world
In time my love unfurls
Till then wait for you girl

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We'll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, surely
An important STEP to that future

Tired Of Waiting

2009-11-09T15:40:00.002+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

2PM Tired Of Waiting

Im getting tired of waiting
You know
Do you know how I feel?

Im getting tired of waiting
Do you still remember me?

Even as a day goes by, I cant forget you
Even if a month goes by, I cant let you go
Do you know that I still want you?

Im going crazy while waiting for you
Every single day feels like a year
Im waiting
Im getting tired of waiting

It feels like you could come back any second
It feels like I could just turn around and see you
Im just getting tired, Im just getting tired

I fall asleep in case I see you
Im still waiting for you
A month could pass and I wouldnt forget you
A year could pass and I wouldnt let you go
Do you know how I feel?

Im going crazy while waiting for you
Every single day feels like a year
Im waiting
Im getting tired of waiting

It feels like you could come back any second
It feels like I could just turn around and see you
Im just getting tired, Im just getting tired

{RAP}
My head feels so complicated, I could explode
Im waiting and waiting but no word from you
Theres no way you could leave because of me
Its so hard for me right now, so hard for me

Ill wait even if its a year
Ill wait even if its 10 years
I dont care if I get tired of waiting for you

Im going crazy while waiting for you
Every single day feels like a year
Im waiting
Im getting tired of waiting

It feels like you could come back any second
It feels like I could just turn around and see you
Im just getting tired, Im just getting tired

Edits..

2009-11-07T00:08:00.004+08:00

Some Picnik edits that i want to share with you guys... since it's already 12am and i'm bored to death, i'll hit tha sack as soon as i posted this.. kaka~ basically i just put up new and old pix together.. so, that's about it.. enjoy~

R.I.P

2009-11-04T22:50:00.002+08:00

Today, a funeral took place at Kuala Abang. It occured at the residence of a SOULS member. Shaharin's father, Mr. Omar, has gone back to rahmatullah this morning. His death was a shock to everyone except his family members who was quite expecting what would happen. Not that they wanted it to happen, but they just knew. It was a heart attack. His brother and sisters gathered up from where the were for their beloved father's funeral. His mother was in tears and that was clearly very hard to watch. My friends and I got teary eyes when we bid her goodbye and ask her to be strong. His mother asked us to give Shaharin strength and the will to go on and to continue his fight in SPM which is in exactly 14 days. Allah must have love him greatly to give him this much of a challenge. The death of a loved one is a great pain to endure. Although my parents and I don't get along that well, I'm truly thankful and greatful that they're still here. As the eldest child in the family, I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. No yet.

Shaharin,

I hope you wil be strong as we know that you are. SOULS will always have your back if you ever need anything. Just name it and we will do it. Prove to yourself and to your dad that you're a good son. Ace your SPM. Don't make this break you down. His absence may affect you but we're sure you'll get through. We'll be by your side along with your family all the way. One’s laughter is everybody’s joy, one’s tears is everybody’s sadness, one’s pain is everybody’s agony, one’s anger is everybody’s rage and one’s worry is everybody’s problem. Our voices are unanimous. We are forever intertwined and without each other we are incomplete. We are one.

Exceptional

2009-11-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

Jojo - Exceptional

You're beautiful but you don't know
Can't see whats there inside your soul
Always feelin' like you're not good enough
You wish you could be someone else
Sometimes you just can't see yourself
But I can see just who you are, who you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional
(Yeah)

You never think you measure up
Never smart or cool, or pretty enough
Always feeling different from all the rest, oh
You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in
I think you're perfect in the skin you're in
You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are, yeah

(chorus)
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

If you could see the one I see when I see you
You'd know how lucky you are to be you
I see through into you
And you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that? (You are)
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are,
You're nothing but exceptional

Ruang Kosong

2009-11-03T19:02:00.004+08:00

Aku tahu,
Aku tidak mencukupi bagimu,
Aku tidak bisa buatmu bahagia,
Aku tidak boleh menandinginya,
Tiada siapa yang boleh,
Kerana aku serba kekurangan...

Aku tahu,
Ruang kosong di hatimu,
Hanya tersedia untuknya,
Supaya kembali bersamamu,
Kerana aku tahu,
Kau merinduinya,
Dan masih menanti kepulangannya..

Aku tahu,
Tiada apa yang bisa aku lakukan
Untuk mengisi kekosongan di hatimu itu,
Kerana kau akan terus menantinya,
Walaupun aku di sini,
Setia di sisi mu..

Aku tahu,
Kau tidak mahu semua ini,
Kau mahu kembali padanya,
Dan mencintai hanya dia,
Menyayangi hanya dia,
Hanya bersama dia,
Untuk selamanya...

Tahukah kamu,
Betapa sakitnya diri ini,
Menanggung perasaan,
Kerana terus dan terus,
Berada di bawah bayangannya,
Si dia yang telah lepas,
Di dalam hidupmu..

Tahukah kamu,
Betapa lemahnya hati ini,
Semangat diri ini apabila,
Kau masih ingat akannya,
Merinduinya,
Kerana aku tidak mencukupi,
Tidak bisa buatmu bahagia...

Tahukah kamu,
Apa rasanya hati ini,
Apabila aku tahu,
Sebenarnya dialah yang kau mahu,
Bukan aku,
Bukan kita,
Tapi dia..

Tahukah kamu,
Sejauh mana diri ini,
Sanggup berkorban untukmu,
Untuk memenuhi kekosongan itu,
Untuk menandinginya,
Untuk mengambil tempat dihatimu,
Merampas takhtanya...

Tapi sayangku,
Aku tahu bagaimana sukarnya,
Untuk melupakan cinta pertama,
Jadi ambillah masa mu,
Untuk terima aku seadanya,
Kerana aku tetap diriku,
Aku takkan berubah,
Semata-mata ingin menjadi sepertinya..

Aku tahu sayang,
Aku berbeza dengannya,
Itulah kuasa Tuhan Yang Esa,
Inilah manusia,
Tiada yang sama,
Tiada yang sempurna selain-Nya...

Sayang,
Sesungguhnya dialah yang kau mahu,
Aku sanggup bebaskan dirimu,
Untukmu mengecapi kebahagiaan,
Untukmu mengisi kekosongan di hatimu,
Yang tidak mampu aku lakukan,
Hargailah dia,
Sayangilah dia,
Cintailah dia...

Sayang,
Tak kira dengan siapa kau berada,
Aku hanya mahu kau bahagia,
Aku mahu kau gembira,
Tanpa paksaan,
Tanpa penyesalan,
Tanpa tangisan,
Hanya ada senyuman..

Kini,
Segalanya berada ditanganmu,
Buatlah apa yang terbaik untukmu,
Walau apa pun yang terjadi,
Aku mahu kau tahu,
Aku akan sentiasa mencintaimu,
Aku tidak akan menyesal,
Dengan apa jua keputusanmu,
Kerana aku terlalu mencintaimu..

-Anin-

Please Love Her~

2009-10-31T21:59:00.005+08:00

a wonderful song with beautiful lyrics... love it.. i wanted to post the vid here but can't find any which can be embedded.. so if you want to hear the song check out youtube.. enjoy~

Ha Dong Kyun - Please Love Her

Will you wait a moment
I'll come get you right now
Why do you only keep crying
Tell me, tell me, where are you

Did the person you love leave you and go
I'll take you home
Let's go, let's go, because the wind is cold
What's so great about the person who makes you cry

You don't know, you're the only one who doesn't know
My heart that loves you
I couldn't be there first, because my steps were slow
The painful love of having my seat taken

Your smiling form
Is prettier than anyone else
Does that person even know
Really really know this, does he still make you cry

I don't know your name,
But I'm making this one request

Love her, love her
The girl that I love
The girl you have instead of me
Don't ever think you will treat her roughly

Love her, the girl who doesn't know my heart
Because the one she loves is you
Love her more than I do
Don't ever make her cry again

Photoshoot eyh~

2009-10-31T00:41:00.008+08:00

Walaweyh~~~ So crazy went to take pix with ubiey... keke~~ so many diff poses and my feet hurts like crazy.. just posting a few pix of the session.. the others are so hot seh.... keke~ cannot let ppl see da hotness... kaka~

BFFF~ Keke~

O.o Ubiey said i juz came out of a club.. Kaka~
never underestimate the power of photo editing...

Looney Ubiey~~~ kakaka~

STRONGER...

2009-10-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

Mary J.Blige Stronger

[Verse 1:]
We've been through the storm,
We've been through it all
We had some close calls,
But never would fall
We climbed all the mountains,
Walked through all the valleys,
And you never left me behind

I found my way through the clouds,
No more running scared and closing my eyes
I will be true, this love from my heart,
I'm laying my life on the line

[Chorus:]
Oh I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I will survive,
As long as it's you by my
ide
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger

[Verse 2:]
They said we wouldn't make it,
But guess what, we made it
And deep down, I'm wondering how
You were always for me,
Never been the one to hurt me
You gave me peace of mind

I found my way through the clouds,
No more running scared and closing my eyes
I will be true, this love from my heart,
I'm laying my life on the line

[Chorus:]
Oh I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger

Sometimes I can't believe,
That you are with me
There's nobody lucky as me
So I get on my knees,
To make sure that He
Knows that I'm grateful,
For what He gave me

I will survive

[Chorus:]
I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I will survive,
As long as it's you by my side
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger
I'm stronger, stronger, stronger

Said I'm stronger with you babe
I will survive, with you by my side

Syah's Birthday~

2009-10-29T19:27:00.004+08:00

Syah's sweet 17 was on the 27th October.. but i posted this a little bit late coz' so lazy to blog.. keke~ we did a surprise party for her but i guess she'd expected that though.. it wasn't really a party, just a cake and friends gathering to honor her birthday... a teacher baked the cake.. we were all thankful to Mrs. Diana for baking the cake for us.. the cake was delish.. but i didn't ate any coz' i felt not in the mood.. so i just watched people eat and took some pix.. as always.. hehe..

The Bday gal..

Chokorato keki.. hehe..

Shahren digging in through the choc..

Da guys and Aizat in the centre of attention.. LOL..

SOULS~

SOULS Babes... keke~

Syah! We wish you a long life and may great things happens to you... May Allah bless you... we love you~! XOXO..

All I Want Is Everything

Love That Never Ends

Ups and Downs

Dreaming of a hero.

Nur Kasih Movie Break

Previously on my second semester..

DYB309; 2109; 28th September.

BEL120; 1322; 25th September.

BFR202; 0806; 20th September

MGT 162; 2250; 19th September.

Re-cap!!!

Life in UiTM : Happy or Shitty?

Song Cover^^

3 stitches... is a lot of pain~

Just read merhx~!

Recap~

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MO CHUISLE..!

Happy 10 months syg...

Day Moon

Take your sweet time..

I'm Sorry..

S.O.S

Express yourself!

I GOT A JOB??

Kuantan Trip..

Uni Survey~

RAY Magazine March 2010 - Valentines' Day Q&A

Emotion test , don't cheat!!

Me babbling in Korean... hahahha

Bukit Gambang Resort City Trip~

Doll eyes~

Dried Tears...

Even If I Die,, I Can't Let You Go

Scarred..

FRIENDS

Congrats ~!!

Gud Luck Syg~!!!

Doll eyes~

Always you,,, Saiful...

Unrequited Love~

back to one~

CRY ME OUT

My Naughty WILD BUNNIES~

why did you do that...?

I miss you Saifulnizam~

New Year Survey~ Kaka

Goodbye 2009~

On Air~

For my Polar Bear~

Catching up~

**Jinx**

Last Flight Out~

Can you tell me why?

Wedding Dress~

Where U At?!

Heartbeat~ 1:59PM

Heaven

声を聞かせて

Tired Of Waiting

Edits..

R.I.P

Exceptional

Ruang Kosong

Please Love Her~

Photoshoot eyh~

STRONGER...

Syah's Birthday~

Jinx